


Cinderella Story

by DarkCrystalFlower, NightLily97



Category: iKON (Korea Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Not K-Pop Idols, Depression, Double B, Jeon Jungkook/Kim Taehyung | V (mentioned) - Freeform, Jung Chanwoo (mentioned), Kim Hanbin | B.I/Kim Jiwon | Bobby (mentioned), M/M, Male Cinderella, Self-Harm, Sexual Harassment, Song Minho (mentioned), Teacher Lee Seunghyun | Seungri, junhwan, taekook
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-16
Updated: 2019-07-25
Packaged: 2020-05-13 03:45:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 33,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19243174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkCrystalFlower/pseuds/DarkCrystalFlower, https://archiveofourown.org/users/NightLily97/pseuds/NightLily97
Summary: A modern version of Cinderella story.Jinhwan is living with his stepfather and stepbrother Jimin ever since his mother died at the age of 12. The story is taking place in the present where Jinhwan is 17 years old and how he’s trying to deal with his stepbrother and father.He had a more or less peaceful life until Junhoe came into his life and messed everything up.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey to all of the iKonics!   
> I know we are currently having a bit of a hard time. There are millions of posts on Twitter supporting Hanbin and the boys.   
> We are relying on each other to stay strong and hope to have good news soon. 
> 
> This is a story my friend and I wrote before the case.   
> It's currently still in progress, but I'll be updating two chapters per week.   
> In those hard times for both our boys and us we need something to distract ourselves. 
> 
> Let's keep letting the world know we won't give up until they boys are happy and together again. 
> 
> If there's anyone who wants to talk, vent, or simply leave his thoughts - feel free to do so! (:
> 
>  **WARNING!**  
>  This story contains:   
> Boy x Boy  
> Smut  
> Mentions of self harm and depression.

"What?" I looked surprised at the blonde guy in front of me.  
There's no way I'm doing it.

"C'mon Jinhwan…" the blonde sighed as he crossed his arms.

This blonde guy was my Japanese teacher - Lee Seunghyun.  
And as if I don't have enough trouble in my life, he wants to add another one to it.  
"Sir, I can't teach him. I don't have time to give out private lessons."

"Please?" He asked with a smile. "You're the best in the class and he has the potential to get good grades, he just needs a little push. How about I'll give you extra credits for teaching him?"  
Extra credits?  
Well, I could use those extra credits…

I want my grades to be as good as possible to be accepted to the college I want.  
But I don't want him to know my name, it'll just ruin his reputation around school and I'll become even a bigger joke around school.

"Fine." I agreed eventually and ripped a piece of paper from my notebook, writing down a name.  
"This is my Skype ID. But I'll do it on one condition - don't tell him that is me. I prefer him not to know."

"Great!" Seunghyun said cheerfully as he took the paper from me. "I expect Junhoe to get at least B- on the next exam." He smiled.

"I'll try sir." I sighed and walked out of the classroom.  
I can't believe I just agreed to it.  
Here's another problem to add to my list.

 

"Jinani~"  
I sighed annoyed as I heard the familiar voice in the hall. Speaking of troubles.

"What do you want?" I asked annoyed as I turned to look at the guy.

"Oh, why the bitter attitude?" He asked, smiling. "Can't I greet my cute brother at school anymore?"

"What do you want, Jimin?" I repeated, knowing better that this wasn't a simple 'greeting'.  
He's going to either make fun of me like he usually does or burden me with his chores and homework.  
Having him as my step brother and seeing him at home was bad enough. Having to see him every day at school was simply a nightmare.

"Okay, so I had a bet with Taehyung."

"Fascinating, what you dragged me into this time?"

"Okay, we think that Jungkook is gay."

"Okay, I still don't get what you want from me."

"Taehyung said he isn't and I'm saying he is. So I need you to go to Jungkook and… give him a little 'push'." He said as he grabbed my chin, smiling.

I smiled sweetly at him. "Jimin…" I said softly as my hand slowly moved on his neck down to his chest.  
"The last thing I'm going to do is be your play doll." I said bitterly as I pushed him away from me. "Find some other whore to do it."

"Well, I can't find another 'whore' if I want to find out if he's gay, right?" Jimin rolled his eyes, "you're a perfect fit for this."

"How about you ask Taehyung to do it since it seems like he's the one with a crush on him." I said annoyed, "or better, do it yourself." I turned around to walk away, trying to focus on my breathing.

God, how much I hate him.  
Jimin was too spoiled by his father that he believes everyone should follow his orders. His group of friends isn't any better, and I don't understand how I always end up running into them when this school has thousands of students.

 

I groaned in frustration as I threw my bag on the bench before dropping myself on it.

"Jimin?"

"Who else?" I asked annoyed, taking half of the energy bar that was offered to me.

"What is it this time?"

"He decided to make me his play doll. He wants me to give one of his stupid friends a 'push' to see if he's gay. I just can't deal with his shit anymore, Jiwon!"  
The other sighed and tapped on my back, trying to comfort me.

"We'll end high school soon. And then I'm kidnapping you to university with me. Just one more year, Jay." He said in worry.

I sighed.  
It was one more year too many.  
I've been dealing with Jimin and my stepfather for 8 years now, and it was a complete nightmare.

My father left my mom and I when I was 7 years old. I don't even know why, he simply left without saying a word.  
Mom found another man and they got married. Everything was just fine. The man was nice and so was his son.

But a few years later mom got sick, too sick to manage to recover on her own.  
And I was left all alone with Jimin and his father. The way they treated me made a 180 change and ever since I can't feel at ease even in my own house.

And now I need to teach Junhoe…  
If Jimin will find out, he would make my life even more a nightmare than what they are now.  
"Jiwon, I'm still not sure about it…" I said quietly as I played with the bracelet around my hand.

Will I be able to get out of this damn house?  
I doubt my stepfather will just let me go.  
I'm lucky he even lets me go to school.  
I can't meet anyone after that, though. I'm supposed to go straight home.  
God, this sucks.

"Hey, it's cute you think I'm asking you or that lame excuse for a father of yours." Jiwon made me look at him. "You won't be a minor anymore. He can't tell you what to do."

I bit my lower lip, looking at him  . "I'm worried…"

"About what? You won't be bound to them anymore! Your mom left a clear will that states all the money she saved rightfully belongs to you. Which means you have  tuition money for university. We're **both** getting accepted to the university we want and we'd share an apartment. I told you many times, I'm not leaving you alone in this damn prison."

Jiwon really was an amazing friend and I have no idea what I did to deserve him.  
When he first got closer to me I tried to push him away, the students also warned him about me because thanks to my lovely 'brother' I have a really shitty reputation around.  
But he didn't listen to anyone and became my friend anyways.  
It took me a long time until I managed to open up to him, and I don't regret I did.

"What you two talking about?" I felt an arm being wrapped around my neck from behind.

"Let go Donghyuk." I complained.

"Ouch...You're being spoiled by Jiwon too much that you push your other friends away." He said with fake hurt. "Are me and Yoyo not welcome around you anymore?"

I sighed and lifted my head to look at him. "Of course Yunhyeongie is always welcome." I smiled.

Jiwon laughed. "You better stop before your pride gets hurt."

"You're mean." Donghyuk let go of me, "this is what I get in return for my friendship?"

I sighed amused and gave him a bit of the energy bar Jiwon gave me.

"Better?"

"I'll consider it." He said, but I could see him smiling. "So, what did I interrupt?"

"Jay is arguing about my plan to take him to university."

"Stop being so stubborn." Donghyuk looked at me. "I'll kick your pretty ass there if I have to."

"Don't kick me." I pouted. "Besides, I have a bigger problem right now."

"What? Jimin decided to sell you for a few bucks?"

"Not yet. My Japanese teacher wants me to give private lessons to Junhoe."

They both looked at me surprised.

"Wait wait wait wait… Junhoe? As if, **Koo Junhoe**?" Donghyuk asked.

"Why am I hearing about this only now?" Jiwon gave me a look. "Did you agree?"

"No," I sighed, "but he pushed it on me. It's bad enough I'm their fucking maid at home and I have my own shit to do, now besides dealing with Jimin's work I have to teach someone with the little free time I got."

I felt frustrated. It wasn't fair.  
"Why you agreed to it?"

"Because he promised to give me extra credits…" I sighed.

"Jay…" Jiwon sighed, wrapping an arm around my shoulder to pull me closer to himself. "You shouldn't overwork yourself like this."

"It's not like I have a choice." I said, "my grades are pretty average since I usually get little to no sleep. I often take those tests again to get a score a bit higher. So every credit I can get is useful. The only reason I'm good at Japanese is my mom." I leaned my head against Jiwon's shoulder. "I did ask him not to tell Junhoe that it's me. So it should be easier."

I really hope it would be easier.


	2. Chapter 2

I opened the front door, quietly walking upstairs to my room.  
I just returned from school and I have a lot of work to do.  
I need to finish my homework, write an essay for Jimin and finish doing the laundry and cook dinner. 

Once I was inside my room I let my bag fall and dropped myself on the bed.  
I'll start my homework, then I'll do a pause to write Jimin's stupid essay  
I'll put the laundry in the machine and cook dinner while it's being washed.  
Simple, right?

I forced myself to stand up from my bed to take my notebooks out of my bag to start doing my homework.  
I should do it as quick as I can.  
Jimin is out with Taehyung, so he'll be back only for dinner.  
Maybe. 

But no matter what, his father would be mad if I won't cook something.  
So I did my best to answer everything as fast as I could, setting myself reminders to work on Jimin's homework and another one to start with dinner.  
I already got used to this lifestyle. With every year they started pushing more and more on me just to see me break. 

I sighed deeply as I heard my phone. Who's sending me messages now?  
It can't be Jiwon since he knows how busy I am before dinner.  
Since the alerts wouldn't stop I decided to take my phone, seeing those are notifications from my Skype.

Skype?  
Shit. No. Not now.  
"Fuck…" I groaned, thinking about what I should do.  
I know I promised Mr. Lee, but I can't do it now! 

I sighed, moving my fingers through my hair as I looked at my phone.  
Okay. I'll see what he needs. If it can wait, I'll ask him to contact me later. If not, I'll help him, do Jimin's work and when I'll finish cooking dinner I'll grab a snack and do my homework. 

**_Junhoe_ ** __ : Hey… Mr. Lee gave me your ID. He said you can tutor me for a bit?  
**_Me:_ ** __ Yeah. Look, I'm doing chores now so you think it can wait until after dinner? Sorry…  
**_Junhoe:_ ** _ Yeah, sure. No rush! Just send me a message when you can.  
_ **_Me:_ ** __ ok

I put my phone away and concentrated back on my homework.  
Now I really need to hurry. 

 

_ 'I'm free.'  _ I wrote Junhoe as I fell on my bed, exhausted.  
I finished Jimin's essay and put it on his desk, and while I was making dinner his father came down to yell at me why dinner is not ready yet. 

I finished hanging the laundry, served the table, washed the dirty dishes and now I still have few subjects to complete.  
But first - Japanese. I'll help him out, do my own, finish the rest, take a shower and go to bed.  
I wasn't even hungry. I made a sandwich to myself and ate it while cooking. 

**_Junhoe:_ ** _ Great~  
_ **_Me:_ ** _ So, what do you want to begin with? _

He explained to me what he's having difficulties with and I tried my best to explain him.  
He took a picture of his homework for me to check and I explained to him his mistakes.  
I got to admit, I understood what Mr. Lee was talking about. 

He wasn't bad at Japanese since he knew the basics of it. His mistakes were mostly grammar or typos. But it's understandable.  
Japanese is not better than Korean.  
Especially with their Kanji. 

**_Junhoe:_ ** __ I really appreciate that you're helping me.  
Thank you~  
**_Me:_ ** __ Sure, no problem. 

I couldn't help but wonder if he had talked with me like this if he knew who I am.  
Probably not.  
I'm already pretty invisible at school, besides for when Jimin wants everyone's attention to make fun of me.  
I hope Junhoe at least understands what I'm teaching him. I don't want to waste the little free time I have just for him to continue failing. 

**_Me:_** _You got it all?  
_ ** _Junhoe:_** _Yeah, thank you!  
_ ** _Me:_** _Alright, have a good night then.  
_ ** _Junhoe:_** __yeah, good night~

I sighed and put my phone away.  
I still have homework to complete but the bed suddenly felt too comfortable for me to even think about getting up.  
_ 'No Jay, you need to get yourself up.' _ I told myself, forcing myself to stand up.

I sighed deeply as I sat back next to my desk.  
Why I agreed to do that?  
I knew it'll only bring troubles to me.  
But extra credit will only help me.  
Does it really worth it though? 

I shook my head and told myself to concentrate. I already agreed. I should shut up and stop whining about it.  
Besides, this can't last the entire school year. Sooner or later he'll get his shit together. 

  
  
"You look like shit." Jiwon noted as I got inside the backseat of his car in the morning.

"Thank you. Hey Hanbin."

"Hey Jinhwan." He smiled at me from next to the driver's seat. "You really look terrible." 

"Can we leave my disgusting face alone please?" I complained, resting my head against the window.  
Hanbin was Jiwon's boyfriend. They were together for about a year I think, maybe a bit more.  
He was also Junhoe's friend, so Jiwon better not tell him about the tutoring part or I'll choke him. 

"You did your homework the entire night again, didn't you?" Jiwon asked as he drove.

"Hey, I can't not do them and you know it Kim Jiwon." 

"Not doing homework one time won't ruin your scores." Hanbin noted, "your health is more important." 

"Says the one who lives on Pringles and 3 hours of sleep a week." Jiwon noted.  
I couldn't help but chuckle on that.  
I must say, sometimes I feel a bit jealous.

My best friend has a relationship with a really sweet guy, even if he can be annoying sometimes.  
I can forget about having someone as long as Jimin is there to ruin everything for me. 

Who would want to date with the loner who cuts himself?  
Well, used to at least. That was before I met Jiwon.

But I still think about it when things get too much at home.

 

"So how the tutoring went last night?" Jiwon asked me as we walked in the school's hallway to our lockers.

"Fine, I guess. But I'm so exhausted…" 

"Did it take long?" 

I shrugged. "About an hour? I had a shitone of other things to do, I felt so tired I had to force myself up to finish my own homework." 

"Did you eat?" 

"A sandwich." I shrugged. 

"Jay." Jiwon shook his head. "You need to take better care of yourself."  
I didn't answer. He of all people should know that I can't. If I was under different circumstances, if my mom was still alive, with me, maybe I could have been a bit more selfish and eat like a normal person and get enough sleep.  
But I can't. 

I don't have anyone to take care of me. Even I gave up on myself.  
Sure, my friends were there for me, but there's a limit to what they can do.  
They can't stop my stepfather from making me his slave and they can't make Jimin stop making fun of me and enslaving me for his own purposes. 

Just one more year… and this nightmare would be over.  
That's unless my stepfather or Jimin find a way to completely break me before this year ends.  
I took the things I needed from my locker and said goodbye to Jiwon since we had different classes.


	3. Chapter 3

It's been a week already ever since I started to tutor Junhoe. I managed to get used to it a bit now.  
I still felt a bit more tired, but it wasn't terrible like the first day.  
Luckily, it's already the weekend so I have some time to rest. 

Jimin and his father didn't need my help to make breakfast since Jimin usually ate cereal and his father drank coffee, so I allowed myself to sleep in to catch up with all the hours of sleep I missed during the week. 

I was exhausted, I sometimes fell asleep during classes and I skipped my dinner regularly to make time for everything I needed to do during the evening.  
I groaned and moved in my bed as I heard my phone alerting me of new messages.  
I don't have any power to see who it was. I just want to go back to sleep.

But since it didn't stop I eventually sat down on my bed and reached a hand to my phone to check who it was.  
I had a few texts from Jiwon, texts from our group chat and Junhoe?

I frowned at that. Why is he sending me messages at the weekend?  
I moved my fingers through my hair, deciding to check his messages first.  
What could he possibly want? We don't have any exams soon and we finished all of our homework. 

**_Junhoe:_ ** __ Hey  
**_Junhoe:_ ** _ Sorry if I woke you up or anything  
_ **_Junhoe:_ ** __ I just wanted to say thank you for tutoring me this week . 

_ 'You've been thanking me every damn day.' _ I thought frustrated. 

**_Junhoe:_ ** _ I also understood that for a whole week I was talking to you without knowing who you are. Mr. Lee didn't tell me.  
_ **_Junhoe:_ ** _ and I want to repay you for your time _

Yeah. That's definitely not going to happen Koo Junhoe.  
First, we didn't finish with the tutoring.  
And second, Mr. Lee is already repaying me with extra credit. 

**_Me:_ ** _ It's okay. You don't have to do anything.  
_ **_Junhoe:_ ** _ C'mon, don't be like this. I know how pain in the ass it must be tutoring me. _

I couldn't help but chuckle on that.

**_Me:_ ** __ Well, that is true.  
**_Junhoe:_ ** __ Ouch, now you're just hurting my feelings.  
**_Me:_ ** _ You're a fast learner though, I'll give you that.  
_ **_Junhoe:_ ** __ Just that?

I didn't even notice, but I was smiling as I was replaying his messages.  
Was I… Actually enjoying having a conversation with him? 

**_Me:_ ** __ Hmm… You actually care about your studies. Unlike most of the students in your social status.  
**_Junhoe:_ ** __ I'll take that as a compliment. Though it's mostly because if I won't do good at school my father would kick me out of the house.  
**_Me:_ ** __ That sounds harsh.  
**_Junhoe:_ ** __ Yeah, that's my father to you.  
**_Junhoe:_ ** __ Have we ever talked before? Or at least bumped into each other?  
**_Me:_ ** __ No. Don't try guessing who I am. I won't answer your questions.  
**_Junhoe:_ ** __ C'mon! You're no fun.  
I don't understand why you don't want me to know in the first place, to be honest.  
**_Me:_ ** __ It's better this way, believe me.  
**_Junhoe:_ ** _ Why won't you let me decide that?  
_ **_Me:_ ** __ Keep on like this and I'll quit and stop replying to you. 

I took a screenshot of the conversation and sent it to the group.  
 ** _Me:_** _He won't stop asking who I am. I'm going to block him.  
_ ** _Yunhyeong:_** _Awww, he's hitting on you!  
_ ** _Me:_** _Stop it. He knows me only for a week, why in hell would he hit on me?  
_ ** _Yunhyeong:_** _Well, he wants to know who you are. Meaning he wants to know more about you. Meaning he's interested.  
_ ** _Me:_** _Bullshit. He probably has nothing better to do.  
_ ** _Me:_** _Kim Jiwon! Tell your boyfriend to tell Junhoe to find a fucking hobby.  
_ ** _Jiwon:_** _Jay, stop it. I'm not telling Hanbin such thing.  
Besides can we talk about the fact you're actually using fucking Skype to text him? Who use Skype these days?  
_ ** _Me:_** _I don't want to give him my fucking number. With the apps there are out there he'll find out who I am in no time. Skype is safe. Shut up.  
_ ** _Jiwon:_** _Go back to your little boyfriend. He must be anxious you're not replying.  
_ ** _Me:_** __He's not my boyfriend! I don't know the guy!  
You all stop it, or I swear I would kill you.

**_Junhoe_ ** __ : Okay, so if we can't talk about who you are, what do you want to talk about?  
**_Me:_ ** _ You do realize I'm simply your Japanese tutor, right?  
_ **_Junhoe:_ ** __ It is an opportunity to make a friend. I don't see anything wrong with that. 

Friend? He wants us to be friends?  
Really? 

**_Me:_ ** __ Don't you already have enough? I mean, with all the girls that are after you and your little group of guys you hang with, I'd like to think you have just enough friends.  
**_Me:_ ** _ Besides, I barely got time to spare for my own friends. And tutoring you also take my time away. I'm good with how things are now.  
_ **_Junhoe:_ ** __ Wow, so hostile. What's wrong with trying to make new friends? Besides, I'm not asking your entire day. I understand you must be busy. 

I looked at our texts.  
Maybe I was a bit mean. But it's been a hard week for me and I'm still trying to get used to this situation. 

**_Me:_ ** __ Look… I'm sorry. I didn't mean to attack you like this.  
I just don't have too much time to socialize.  
Besides, this… 'Friendship' won't be more than those conversations..  
**_Junhoe:_ ** __ I'm okay with that  
**_Me:_ ** _ Wait… what?  
_ **_Junhoe:_ ** __ I don't mind. Besides, it's fun. To try and think who you might be. 

Is this guy… For real?  
I know Koo Junhoe.  
He's a popular guy at school, coming from a rich family.  
Girls only waited for a chance to ask him out. Guys both hated and admired him.  
Some wanted to date him as well. 

I can't say he's the arrogant type, but he is a bit of a trouble maker.  
But either way, a guy like me doesn't belong in Junhoe's life. Not even as a friend.  
He's not leaving me many choices but to agree. He'll probably get tired of this whole thing anyway. 

**_Me:_ ** _ I'm available only during the weekends. During the week I have time only to tutor you. Okay?  
_ **_Junhoe:_ ** _ Hey, I'll take what you give me.  _

Alright.  
Let's see just how serious you are about this, Koo Junhoe. 

 

* * *

  
  


I don't know how to explain this, but tutoring Junhoe became… A bit more fun I guess.  
Although his agreement not to bother me during the week, he did try to have casual conversations with me.  
At first, I told him to stop since he promised not to.  
But slowly… I cared less and answered him even though it wasn't Japanese related.  
But I made sure my answers won't hint on who I am. 

At school, I was still invisible to him.  
I'd like it to stay this way.  
Jimin was teasing me enough about my current friends. One word from him about Junhoe and my reputation would be 'the depressed guy who tried to whore himself to the popular guy.' 

"Jinani."  
I quickly put my phone back in my pocket as I heard Jimin, turning around to look at him. 

"What?"

"You finished with my English homework? It's due to tomorrow."

"Yes, I've put it on the desk in your room."

"Such a good brother you are." He said amused as he pinched my cheeks. 

I moved away. "Jimin, have you ever considered doing your own work?" 

"Huh? Why would I do something as stupid as that when I have you?" He chuckled. "Don't start rebelling now, Jinani. I didn't spend the last 6 years to make you obedient just for you to suggest something this ridiculous." He brushed my hair, smiling. "Besides, what will you do with all that free time? You can't leave home. If you need more chores I'll be happy to ask dad to give you." 

I sighed at that. "No need for that. I'll start working on your math homework at home." 

"You really are a good brother." He said, "don't forget." 

"I won't." I promised and watched him walking away. 

I've been doing his homework for quite a long time.  
When mom was still alive, it was mostly tutoring sessions since he said he needed help.  
Those 'sessions' turned into me doing his work every once in a while since he said he had troubles.  
And now… 

I literally had two sets of homework to do while he went out to hang with his friends.  
"We can kill him and end with this torture."

I chuckled as I heard Jiwon's voice.  
"I wish we could do that. It would make my life so much easier." 

"We'll make it look like an accident. I promise." 

"Stop that." I laughed, "no. His father would just pick on me. I tried to avoid him as much as possible since I already know I'm a 'worthless child' and a 'waste of oxygen'. No need to add more insults." 

"Fine, forget those assholes. Junhoe." Jiwon changed the subject. 

"What about him?" I frowned, remembering that I was in the middle of a conversation with him. 

"How is the 'tutoring' going?" He asked with a smirk.

"Aish, stop that." I complained. "For the thousand time, we're not dating, he's  **not** my boyfriend and he's simply being nice to me. That's it." 

"Dude, just tell him who you are." 

I sighed, standing in front of Jiwon to put my hands on his shoulders. "Listen to me. Okay? I'm getting enough shit about having friends to begin with. 'Oh, Jinani, stop being so delusional' 'oh, do you really think they care about you' 'Jinani, your so-called friends are hanging with your pathetic self only out of pity' and the list goes on. If I'll tell Junhoe who I am and Jimin sees us together, that if Junhoe would even be interested in being my friend when he knows who I am, I'll become the joke of the school. So stop that. Please." I begged. 

He sighed, pulling me to a hug.  
"I really want to kidnap you. This cruel world doesn't deserve you."

"Isn't it what we're saying about Yunhyeong?"

"True, but it also includes you. You two are just too precious for this world."  
He hugged me tighter, holding me a bit too close to himself. "Our poor Jinhwan." 

"Stop being dramatic and let me go…" I whined, "don't you have a boyfriend to harass instead of me?" 

"He's busy hanging out with his friends."

"So you're harassing me?" 

"No, I'm comforting you." 

I made him let go of me. "Let's go or we'll be late." 

"Tell me when we're assassinating Jimin."  
I couldn't help but chuckle. He really is impossible and it seems like he's catching Hanbin's behavior.  
Exactly what I needed right now. 


	4. Chapter 4

I was cooking dinner as I heard music. For a change I finished my homework quicker so I started making dinner earlier, which means I can tell Junhoe I'm free faster.  
I found myself really enjoying our conversations. It wasn't like my chats with my friends. It felt… Different.

But in a good way.  
Junhoe was actually quite a funny guy, and surprisingly, we had a few things in common.  
I really wasn't expecting that.

He stopped trying to guess who I am, but he did ask for a clue once a week and I ignored it every time.  
No way I'm telling him.

I picked up my phone as I got a new message, seeing that Junhoe sent me a picture.  
I smiled as I looked at it.  
It's a poem he wrote.

Ever since he told me he likes poetry he would send me pictures of poems he has been writing.  
I had to admit - he sure had some talent. Some of the poems were shorter, some were longer, but they all had a beautiful meaning to them.  
I was actually surprised that Koo Junhoe can write this kind of thing.  
Everyone at school knew he will take over his father's company. But it seems like he has other plans.

**_Me:_ ** _It's beautiful, as always.  
_ **_Junhoe:_ ** _I wrote this one about you._

I chuckled as I shook my head. This guy, seriously.

**_Me:_ ** _Oh? Do you want to tell me something Junhoe?  
_ **_Junhoe:_ ** _Well, you are a mystery. So I got inspired._

I chuckled and shook my head again. This guy is unbelievable.

**_Me:_ ** Mystery, huh?  
**_Junhoe:_ ** You won't tell me your name, how you look, who are your friends or even your birth date which seems really ridiculous to me. I'm at a disadvantage since I know almost nothing while you clearly know who I am.  
How is that fair?  
**_Me:_ ** I told you, it's better this way. I know it's frustrating… but we agreed this friendship would stay this way.  
**_Junhoe:_ ** I know… it just frustrating sometimes. We're talking for a month already and I still have no idea who you are.  
**_Me:_ ** _Will telling you my birthday would make you feel better?  
_ **_Junhoe:_ **You will? When?

I couldn't help but smile. This idiot…

**_Me:_ ** February 7th  
**_Junhoe:_ ** The fact you didn't write a year makes me assume you were born the same year as me. Something which makes you almost two months older than me  
**_Me:_ ** What makes you think I was born the same year?  
**_Junhoe:_ ** You are too smart to be one of those who repeat a class because they couldn't pass it.  
**_Me:_ ** You think I'm smart?  
**_Junhoe:_ ** I'm not failing Japanese thanks to you, so you're smart.  
**_Me:_ ** Japanese is like a second language to me. My mom taught me from a young age. Of course I'll be good at that!  
**_Junhoe:_ ** Are you half Japanese?  
**_Me:_ ** No. Stop assuming things, you idiot.  
I'll talk with you after dinner.

I locked my phone and returned to making dinner.  
This guy, I swear.  
But… I did enjoy our conversations during the last month.

"Jinani."  
I sighed deeply, and here goes my happy moment.

"How come you look so happy?" Jimin asked as he stole a bite from the vegetables I was cutting.

"You'll ruin your appetite. Stop bothering me." I avoided his question.

"So bitter. How come you become so mean towards me? I'm your brother." Jimin messed my hair. "So, who has been fucking you? I hope that isn't that blonde friend of yours."

"Don't insult Yunhyeong. And no one is fucking me except you, you're fucking me mentally."

"Oh? If you want it to be physically I can arrange that." Jimin smirked, "all you have to do is ask, Jinani. I'll take good care of you." He stole a few more vegetables from the plate, leaning against the counter. "It's okay since we are not related. What do you say?"

I smiled at him as I stopped cutting the vegetables. "Yes? Am I beautiful to you? A pretty face to fuck?"  
Jimin straightened himself and stood in front of me, locking me between him and the counter.

"Your cute face is a bonus. But I don't actually need to see your face if I fuck you, Jinani. With how suggestive you are to this idea, I might think it's not the first time you're offering a fuck to someone. Did your friends already get a turn? I bet that's the only reason they are staying."  
I wrapped one of my arms around his neck. "Don't worry, I've been saving myself. I don't want to be a 'bad boy' after all."

"I'd say you're quite obedient." Jimin grabbed my chin.

"Well, you said so yourself. You've spent the last 6 years to make me obedient for your use, no?" I asked softly as I looked at him.

"But… there's one thing you failed of…"

"Oh? Which is?"  
He lifted his head as I pointed the knife on his throat.

"To make me your whore. Unless this what would make you stop abusing me, I'll **never** let you touch me. So stop it and let me finish making dinner if you want me to finish your homework on time because you're delaying me right now."

It seems like I caught him off guard because it's the first time I saw Jimin with a surprised expression on his face.  
But it didn't take him too long to process what was going on and look at me amused.  
"I see you got some courage, Jinani. Fine, I'll leave you for now. But only because dad would be mad if dinner won't be ready. And I **really** need that homework." He made me lower my knife.   
"We'll continue this some other time." Jimin winked at me, stole a few more vegetables and walked away.  
This son of a bitch.  
Like I would ever let him touch me.

He already tried once a year ago but I kicked him, getting slapped on my face and a few blue marks on my neck since he threatened to choke me to death.  
Seriously, he needs someone to fuck him so he'll finally leave me alone.  
I don't even understand why would he take things that far? Why can't he just pretend I'm invisible?

Everyone at school does that. Thanks to **him.** So why he and his friends can't leave me alone?  
I quickly wiped away the tears that were dripping on the cutting board, continuing with making dinner.

 

 

**_Me:_ ** _Ready for our lesson?_

I sent Junhoe a message as I returned back to my room after dinner.

**_Junhoe:_ ** _I'm always ready!  
_ **_Me:_ ** _Okay, send me a picture of your homework._

I received a picture of the work we had to do and went over it, checking for any mistakes.  
Unlike the last times, I could only find five mistakes. He improved quite well.  
Mr. Lee was right, I guess. All Junhoe needed was a push

**_Me:_** _You sure improved. You don't make as many mistakes as you did.  
I think after the next exam you wouldn't need my help anymore.  
_**_Junhoe:_** _Nooooo, I like those lessons with you!  
_**_Me:_** _But you won't need them anymore. You should be happy.  
_**_Junhoe:_** _No. I'm going to fail that exam. We can't stop now!  
_**_Me:_** _Koo Junhoe, don't you dare failing on purpose or I would tell it to Mr. Lee!  
_**_Junhoe:_** But without those lessons you will stop talking to me. I don't want that!  
I like our talks, I don't want it to end.

I stared at my phone, not sure how to reply to this.  
It is true, though.  
As much as I enjoy this, it can't last forever. The only reason we are talking right now is because he needed help and I could offer it.  
Without him failing, we have no point to continue those conversations.

**_Junhoe:_ ** Please… I really want us to continue those lessons. I don't want you to stop talking to me…  
**_Me:_ ** _Why is it so important to you? You don't know who I am, and we know each other for only a month.  
_ **_Junhoe:_ **Because talking to you is different. I can be honest with you and you won't judge me.

I sighed.  
I enjoyed talking with him as well. Those little conversations were my escape from the shitty reality surrounding me.  
Having him make a joke made me forget, even for a second, about the fact that both of my parents left me.  
Getting to read his poems, made me hope that the world outside isn't that bad. That once I'll be free from here, I'd feel at ease.  
But…  
I don't belong in Junhoe's life. I'll only drag him down with me.  
I don't want it.

**_Me:_ ** Review everything before taking the exam. Okay?  
**_Junhoe:_ ** Don't.  
Don't avoid it. I'm begging of you… I said I'm fine with it being only texts, right? So, please…  
You're the first friend I got that I can be completely honest with.

I bit my lip. Junhoe was literally begging for this… 'Friendship' to continue.  
And I felt like shit. I didn't think this would become this deep.  
It was only tutoring sessions.

**_Me:_** _Junhoe…  
I'm sorry. But I have to go.  
Do your homework carefully, review them a few times.  
I know you can do it.  
_**_Junhoe:_** Please, please… don't do that.  
Is it something I have done? Did I hurt you in some way? If so, I'm sorry!  
I really am!  
But please don't do that…

I sighed deeply. It seems like I have no choice.  
As always, he's not leaving me a choice.

**_Me:_ ** I… I'll make a deal with you.  
Get at least an A- on the exam, and I'll continue talking to you when I'm available.  
**_Me:_ ** _You didn't do anything wrong, I swear. I just… I'm having a rough time in my life. The less people involved - the better.  
_ **_Me:_ **I'm going now.

I put my phone away, wiping my tears away.  
It is such a shitty evening.  
First Jimin and now that.  
I looked at my phone as I received a new message, seeing he sent me a voice message.  
That was new.

I bit my lower lip, thinking if to listen to it or ignore it for now.  
At the end, I decided to listen to it so I clicked play and put the phone next to my ear.

Look, I'm the last person that can say something about what's happening in your life.  
I understand that you don't want to tell me and it's your right.  
But I just want you to know… I'm here if you want to talk, okay?  
And about the exam, don't worry!  
You won't get rid of me this easily, I'll score this grade, I promise!  
Have a good night.

I couldn't help it anymore and started crying.  
Koo fucking Junhoe was really a sweet guy.  
And I was tutoring him.  
Just tutoring.

How could I allow it to become something…. More?  
How could I let a guy, who is a stranger to me, get so close?  
He shouldn't know about the troubles I might cause him.  
I was enough of a burden on Jiwon and Donghyuk. Junhoe doesn't need to be a part of it.

**_Me:_ ** _…_  
Thank you… 

I wrote before logging out and placed my phone on my nightstand.  
I was such a mess. Why Junhoe would even want me as his friend?  
"I don't get it…"


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **_ A/N:  _ ** _Okay, decided to upload another chapter today, surprise!~_  
>  Also, me and my friend are going to upload a new story on Wednesday so look foward to that :3  
> And don't worry, we're still going to update this story as well! 
> 
> _Enjoy the reading~_

"You're an idiot." Jiwon scolded me first thing in the morning as we sat on a bench outside of school.

"Stop it! I'm doing it for his own good. He doesn't need a friend like me."

"Did you see him this morning? He looks down and concerned. He worries about you, you fucking moron."

"Only because he doesn't know who I am!"

"Why should it matter?" Jiwon argued. "You're the same guy whom he enjoys talking to. You won't even give it a chance."

"The school's depressed whore doesn't belong with people like Koo Junhoe." I said coldly.

"You're shitting me now, right? Stop underestimating yourself! You deserve to be happy Jay. And ever since you started talking to him, you seem happier."

"He only sees me as a friend Jiwon."

"I swear I need to hit you on your head to fix your brain. He obviously has a crush on you! Why else would he beg so much for you to continue talking to him? Or why he keeps trying to get hints out of you to know who you are. He's fucking sending you poems saying he thought about you!"

"Stop!" I closed my eyes, taking deep breaths to try and calm myself. "Please… Just stop okay…? Whatever his problem is, it'd fade soon. He has his own friends. Nothing to get excited about."

Jiwon was about to respond when he noticed Junhoe walking with Hanbin.  
"Don't." I warned him when I noticed his smirk.

"Yo! Junhoe!"  
I felt like killing him for doing that right now.  
He and Hanbin stopped to look at our direction.  
Jiwon waved at them, telling them to come closer.

"I'm going to prove you this guy has a crush on you." He told me before they approached us.

"Junhoe, Hanbin told me you've been having conversations with someone lately." He said with a smile.

"Jiwon." Hanbin pouted, but Junhoe chuckled.

"It's okay Hanbin. Yeah, I've been talking to someone lately."

"Oh? Is it something serious?" Jiwon asked with a teasing tone.

"Not yet. We… had an argument yesterday. But I hope to make it more serious."

"Argument?" Jiwon asked. Junhoe seemed… Concerned all of sudden.

"Yeah… I feel like it's my fault for pushing him a bit too much." He sighed, "but I'll make it up to him."

"I swear the guy is in love with… Whoever that is." Hanbin chuckled.

Junhoe punched his arm. "I wouldn't call it 'love' right now, but I do like him, a lot. And I want to try and make it more serious."

I looked at him.  
I wanted to ask why does he care so much. I wanted to know what the hell pushes him to continue talking with me, to be friends with me, to want it to be more serious.  
I'm a fucking nobody.  
And Koo Junhoe will become somebody in the future.  
I shouldn't have made that stupid agreement.  
I should have told him no.

I looked down and walked away from there. I didn't want to continue listening to that.  
Jiwon is right, the guy has a crush on me.  
And it would be a lie to say I didn't feel something as well.  
But… I'm still a nobody to him. This relationship is better with staying only virtual.  
He doesn't need to know who I am. He doesn't need to know about the shit I'm going through.  
Junhoe was starting to become a meaningful part of my daily life. And I must stop it before the both of us get hurt.

But he's right.  
I'll also miss our talks. Not talking to him now seemed so weird to me.  
I'll see how he would do in the exam, if he won't get the score, we'll finish it.

 

  
  
"Okay, I checked your exams. And I must say, I was impressed by some of you." Mr. Lee said as he handed our exams back.

"A great job Junhoe." I noticed him smiling at Junhoe as he handed him his exam.  
Junhoe looked at it and suddenly seemed thrilled.

"Fuck yeah!"

"Koo Junhoe. Don't make me lower your grade."

"Sorry." Junhoe bit his lip, and I could notice he took his phone out to take a picture of the mark.  
He…he passed.  
I quickly put my phone on silent so it won't ring.  
I noticed he was looking around hopefully as he sent me the picture and was a bit disappointed when no phone made a sound.  
I don't understand him.  
Why does that mean something to him that badly?

"See me after class?" Mr. Lee asked when he handed me my exam.  
An A, just like how I expected it to be.

"Okay." I nodded.

 

 

"You've done a great job tutoring Junhoe." Mr. Lee smiled at me as we were left alone in class.

"Thank you, sir. You were right, he simply needed a push."

"Since he progressed so well, I'll give you those extra credits I promised. But, I do hope you'll continue giving him lessons every time and then. He still needs this push to keep his grades up."

"Yes, sir." I nodded and walked out of the classroom, finally looking at the picture Junhoe sent me.  
He got an A.  
It seems like he studied really hard for this exam.  
And he did that only because of me?  
I really can't understand him. But a deal is a deal.

And since I made him feel so bad like it's his fault for the last two weeks and he did so great on the exam, I should reward him.  
So I hit the record button.

"Congratulations! I'm really proud of you, I knew you could do it.  
And since a deal is a deal, we'll continue our lessons. Besides, Mr. Lee asked me to continue giving you lessons so it's not like I have a choice anyway."  
I smiled amused as I sent the recording. I wonder what his reaction would be.

He logged in almost immediately and listened to the recording.  
I waited impatiently for his response. I hope that wasn't a mistake to do that.

**_Junhoe:_** _Wait…  
Wait wait wait  
Is that you?!  
_**_Me:_** _Yeah. You seemed down, I wanted to cheer you up.  
Good job on getting an A. I really am proud of you.  
_**_Junhoe:_** I'm sorry if you find this rude, but…  
Wow  
You sound kinda… Cute.

Cute?  
I sound 'kinda' cute?

**_Me:_ ** Don't make me regret sending you a voice message.  
**_Junhoe:_ ** Sorry, sorry  
Fuck...   
Now I'm sure we never talked. I wouldn't forget a guy with a voice like yours.  
**_Junhoe:_ ** Could we… Have a voice conversation during the weekend?  
You don't have to!  
But… You did say you were curious about my guitar playing skills after I explained how terrible I am. And… It could be a nice change.  
Please consider it before saying no.  
**_Me:_ ** Okay  
**_Junhoe:_ ** _Wait, really??  
_ **_Me:_ **Yeah, really.

The guy deserves this.  
He worked hard for this exam just so he could continue talking to me. And he did try to cheer me up after I was mean to him.  
Besides, it's a voice call. Not video.  
This would be safe.

**_Junhoe:_ ** Wow…  
I'm actually excited now for the weekend.  
I was so sure you'll refuse.  
**_Me:_ ** Don't get too used to it  
I expect you to keep a good average in Japanese or the deal is off!  
**_Junhoe:_ **Don't worry! I'll keep a good average.

I sighed amused. I can't believe he got so excited just from hearing my voice for a few seconds.  
The Junhoe I'm getting to know is completely different from the image he has around school.  
I didn't think he's stuck up or anything, but I would never be able to tell that the future CEO Koo Junhoe actually enjoys poetry, that he actually cares about his studies and…  
That he's really kind and considerate.  
What did I get myself into?


	6. Chapter 6

I actually found myself waiting for the weekend for this call.  
Jiwon said it was cute and I told him to shut up before I'll kill him, and Donghyuk and Yunhyeong weren't better as well.

Jimin is also sleeping over at Taehyung's place, which means he won't be at home to ask questions like who am I talking to.  
It actually was rare for me to make phone calls to my friends since I was so busy and messages were much more convenient. This way I can reply when I'm free.  
But now after talking with Junhoe for a bit over a month…  
I'm going to actually talk with him. 

I took a deep breath before pressing the 'call' button, waiting for him to answer.  
Those rings felt forever to me until he answered.  
_'Hello?'_

Fuck. Did I wake him up? What's up with his voice sounding so… Deep this early in the morning?  
"Hey… Did I wake you?" 

Junhoe chuckled. _'No, no. I'm just too lazy to get out of bed. I'm happy you called.'_

"I'm… happy too."

_'I know you told me not to say it, but you sound so cute.'_

"God, shut up. I'm not cute." 

_'That's what every cute guy says. If I find out you're lying you'll pay for this.'_

"What makes you think you'll ever get to see me?" I teased, "you can't figure out who I am out of a class of 40 students." 

_'You're right, I need to work harder.'_

"Junhoe… let's say you'll find out somehow. What if… what if you'll be disappointed? Maybe I'm not the guy you're expecting me to be." 

_'How can I be disappointed?'_ He sounded confused, _'what? You might not be cute? I can live with that. I don't know who you are, what you look like, I only know some of your likes and hobbies, and a bit about your personality from our conversations.  
And you actually sound like a kind and caring guy. You took upon yourself to teach me when you clearly can't. It's not something you can fake. So no, I don't think I'll be disappointed.'  _

I quickly wiped away the tears that started to drop from my eyes.  
What am I talking about? It's not like he'll find out anyway.  
No. He can't find out who I am. I've made it clear. It's better for the both of us.  
"You assume things again…" I said, cursing myself at my shaky voice. 

_'Are you okay…? I said the wrong thing again, didn't I?'_

"Stop. It's fine. Now, somebody promised to let me hear how his guitar practice is going." I tried to change the subject.  
He chuckled at that and I heard muffled sounds, looks like he's getting out of bed. 

_'Okay, but I'm warning you! It might make your ears to bleed.'_

"I'm sure I'll be fine." I chuckled, waiting for him to start playing. 

_'Alright then.'_ He sighed, amused and started playing.  
The quality wasn't the best, Skype after all, and he really didn't hit all the notes perfectly.  
But it wasn't bad at all.  
The melody was quite nice, calming even.  
This guy only claims he's bad at everything. He's really underestimating himself.  
Without realizing I imagined myself sitting next to him, resting my head on his shoulder as he plays.  
God, what am I thinking about? It's ridiculous. 

A guy like me doesn't belong in Junhoe's life. Yes, I feel guilty for making him feel down when I refuse things or take my frustration on him.  
But nothing, **nothing** , will make me change my mind.  
He will find himself someone, a boyfriend or a girlfriend…  
He'll forget about me.  
So I shouldn't be bothered with him knowing who I am. 

  
_'So how it was?'_ he asked when he finished playing.

"It wasn't that bad like you claim it to be. It actually was nice."

_'Really?'_

"Yeah, really." I chuckled.

_'You know… there's actually something I thought about for a while now…'_

"Which is?"

'I… don't want to be CEO. I want to be a singer… but, I guess it's just a silly dream.'  
I was taken off guard.  
Junhoe… Wants to be a singer? Really?  
Everyone at school knew him. Or had an idea who he is. And it was clear Junhoe will take his father's place in the future. 

"It's not silly." I said, "don't say that. I didn't hear you sing but you shouldn't give up without trying." 

_'It's nice of you. But my dad will never let me even try. He already planned everything for me.'_

"Don't let him do that! If you want to do something then do it. This is **your** life, not your dad's." 

_'He won't hear me out. I tried talking with him about this but…'_ Junhoe sighed, _'forget it. It's just something I wanted to share.'_

"Junhoe-"

_'Just… forget about it. Please.'_

"Can I at least hear your singing?" I asked hopefully. 

_'You… want to hear me sing?'_

"I don't see why not." 

_'I'll make your ears bleed.'_

I chuckled. "You said the same about the guitar! Stop recycling excuses and start singing, Koo Junhoe." 

_'What will I get in return? You are asking me to embarrass myself. I have to know it'd be worth it.'_

"I'm talking with you. I think that's enough of a good reason." 

_'No no no no. I'm keeping my good grades and you are talking with me in return. Now I'm doing you another favor. So, what do I get?'_

"Hmm… I'll call you each weekend." I offered.

_'Each weekend? Like, every week, during the weekend?'_

"Yes, you idiot. Of course, if I'm available. Which I usually am. So, we got a deal?"

_'It's a deal. So what do you want me to sing?'_

"Whatever you want." 

_'No requests?'_ Junhoe asked amused. 

"No. Now sing."  
He hummed before clearing his throat and singing.  
Wow.  
His voice… It's really deep. But calming in a way.  
And this guy thinks being a singer is a ridiculous dream?  
I hate to admit it but I couldn't stop myself from wondering how nice it could be, rest my head on his lap as he sings and gently playing with my hair.  
I could really enjoy it.  
But, it'll have to stay only in my imagination. 

  
_'I'm sorry…'_  

"What? About what?" I asked confused. "Junhoe, that was really great. You have an amazing voice!"

_'You… really think so…?'_

"Of course! You're amazing."

_'God, this is one of the reasons I enjoy talking to you. You actually listen to me and you don't judge me.'_

"I don't see what there's to judge." I frowned although he couldn't see me. "Sure, you might need a bit more practice and training, but you are really talented. Don't waste it."

_'I know it might sound ridiculous to you but… talking to you calms me down. I… I really like you…'_

  
After his conversation with Jiwon, I knew it was only a matter of time before he confessed.  
I wanted to say I like him too, but I was worried. Am I really in the position to tell him that?  
Liking him means making this texting relationship we have to be something more.  
Making it something more means he'll want to meet me.  
And I don't think I can handle it. 

"How can you like me after two months of texting…?" I asked quietly, "you don't know me… How can you possibly say that?"

_'Because you're different. You don't care about who I am supposed to be but about myself as a person. You always listen to my problems, you like my poems and encourage me to continue writing them… You tell me I should do what I want and not what my dad wants. You're sweet and caring… so I really like you. That's why I'm taking anything you give me about yourself. Your birthday, your hobbies, your interest. When I heard your voice for the first time… I couldn't help but repeat the recording until the weekend.  
Sorry… I must sound stupid and pathetic to you.' _

"Not at all!" I hurried to say.  
What am I doing?

"I… I… like you too…"  
Why I just said that?! Those words just slipped out of my mouth.  
Stupid. Stupid Jinhwan. 

_'You do…?'_ Junhoe asked, sounding surprised. 

"I…" I hesitated. I can't lie now and say I don't. He heard me. It'd hurt his feelings and I don't want to see him being sad or worried because of me again. 

"I'm sorry. Junhoe… I know it's probably not my place. But you deserve to be happy. You deserve to have someone who will support you and your dreams. Someone who will encourage you. I...yes. I really like you. But my situation is **really** complicated. I'm not ready to tell you who I am, and I don't think it's something I'll be able to do anytime soon. You can find yourself someone better. You **deserve** better…" 

_'But you're better to me. I want you… not someone else. If you say you're not ready yet to tell me who you are then I'll wait. I don't mind.'_

"Stop it. You can't just blindly wait to someone you don't even know. You need to find someone else, once you do you'll forget all about me." 

_'You just said you like me. How can you give up without even trying?'_ He asked, _'you told me yourself not to give up on my dream. How can you not follow your own advice? Just give it a shot. I promise the second it burdens you I'll stop. I promise. But don't say no without trying at least.'_

He sounded…  
Almost desperate. I felt bad.  
He likes me that much?  
"You can wait forever."

_'I don't care. A guy like you is worth the wait.'_

"Is that your final answer?" I asked, making sure he actually is serious. 

_'Yes. I'm not backing down from this. I really like you, so please consider dating me. Even if it's through text or the calls you promised to make.'_

"Okay. So can I call Koo Junhoe now my boyfriend?" I asked amused. 

_'Wait… You agree?!'_ He asked surprised, _'you actually agree?! Really?'_  

I laughed. "I can always say 'no'. Is that what you want?" 

_'No no no no no no no! You can't take it back. You already said yes!'_

I smiled like an idiot, listening to him mumbling nonsense to himself on the other side of the line.  
Yes. I probably did the stupidest thing ever. After all, I barely have time for my friends.  
And now I have a boyfriend.  
In a way. 

_'Since you won't tell me your name, can I come up with a nickname to you?'_

"Sure. What you had in mind?"

_'Can I call you angel?'_

I could feel myself blushing. "Why… Why 'angel'?" 

_'Because it feels like you are one. You're too kind, caring… It doesn't feel like you can be real. So… Is it okay?'_

"I… I guess." I said quietly.  
God, this guy. He can make me embarrassed so easily. What the hell?  
I looked at the time. We talked for over an hour. Wow. 

"I think I need to go." I should start planning dinner and check if we have leftovers for lunch.  
"I had fun talking to you."

_'No… don't go…"_

"I have to. I have things to do." 

_'Five minutes?'_

"I'm sorry, Junhoe. I really am busy." I bit my lower lip.  
I didn't want to end the conversation either, I had so much fun talking with him.  
But I don't have many options here. 

I heard him sigh. _'Okay. I'll talk to you later?'_ He asked hopefully. 

"I'll call you after dinner." I promised. 

'I'll be waiting then, Angel. Bye.'  
He ended the call and I instantly collapsed on my bed.  
Shit.  
Shit shit shit shit.  
What did I get myself into? 

_'I'm fucked.' I wrote to Jiwon._

**_Jiwon:_** _What happened? Did Jimin try to harass you again?! Because I swear, if he did I'm killing him for real!_  
**_Me:_** _Not Jimin_  
**_Jiwon:_** _then?_  
**_Me:_** _I… apparently Junhoe is kind of my boyfriend now._  
**_Jiwon:_** _Wait…. Pause._  
What the hell Jay?! Boyfriend?!  
A while ago you refused to tell him who you are!  
**_Me:_** _I know, I know!_  
It just… happened! He said he likes me and like an idiot, I said I like him too so he begged of me to be in a relationship with him.  
**_Jiwon:_** _So why you're not telling him already? The guy is desperate._  
**_Me:_** _I… I can't Jiwon. I really can't._  
My life is complete shit. If Jimin will find out I'm worse than dead.  
I really feel bad for agreeing. But I just couldn't help myself.  
God. I'm an idiot. What have I done?!  
**_Jiwon:_** _You're not an idiot. Junhoe is making you happy._  
Jay, it's okay that you want a relationship with someone who makes you happy.  
If Junhoe really loves you, and it seems like it, he won't give a shit about the tricks Jimin will try to pull.  
**_Me:_** _I dragged Junhoe into my mess._  
I really believe he'll get tired of me if I'll continue hiding myself.  
He deserves a lot better, Jiwon.  
I'm only making him worried.  
Don't you remember the hell I made you go through before I finally started trusting you?  
I actually believe I made a mistake. But I didn't have the heart to say 'no' to him…  
**_Jiwon:_** If I went through this hell, I'm sure Junhoe will be able to go through it either.  
You just don't understand that you're worth it. 

I actually felt like crying now.  
This was too much for me.  
Junhoe….  
He was so sweet to me. He doesn't even know me, yet when he told me why he likes me it seemed like he studied me for years.  
He has enough troubles with his father, I don't understand why he adds me to his list. 

**_Me:_** _You're right._  
I don't understand I'm worth it.  
Because I am **_not_** worth it, Jiwon.  
Going through this nightmare of dealing with me… With Jimin and my stepfather…  
It isn't worth it. 

I put my phone away and wiped my tears, taking a minute to calm myself down before sitting up.  
I really need to start with my chores.  
I want to mop the floor before Jimin returns and starts bothering me on purpose and there are about two piles of laundry to do.  
I sighed deeply.  
I almost felt tempted to call Junhoe right now and cry to him and tell him everything.  
But I stopped myself and stood up, getting out of my room.


	7. Chapter 7

I smiled at my phone screen as I was texting with Junhoe.   
It's been another month and I really started to feel like things are getting more serious between us.  
He's really my escape from the shitty reality I'm living in.  
But I still wasn't ready to tell him who I am.

"Jinhwan!"  
I quickly put my phone away as my stepdad opened the door of my room. Jimin standing next to him.

"Is that what you do all day? Playing on your phone instead of doing your chores?!"   
I peeked at my screen to see what the time is, shocked to see it has been three hours since I got back home.  
Fuck.  
How could it happen? I remember I set myself a reminder! 

"I… I'm really sorry." I quickly stood up, "I'm sorry. I didn't notice the time! I promise it won't repeat itself."

"You're right about that. You're grounded for a week. No friends, no computer." He grabbed my phone, shutting it down. "And no phone."

"I said I'm sorry! Please don't do that!" I begged.  
I looked away as he slapped me.

"Quit whining or I'll make it a whole month."  
I hissed as he pulled my hair, making me look at him. "And to make sure you're not getting close to your friends, you won't leave Jimin's side this week. You'll go with him to and from school, your classes and lunch. Am I clear?" 

"Yes, yes. It's clear." I quickly said.   
He let go of me and I fell back on the bed.  
How could I be so careless? 

"Get up and start doing your job." My stepfather hissed at me before walking out of my room. 

"I promise to take good care of you, Jinani." Jimin said before walking out as well.  
I felt like crying.  
I can't talk with my friends for a whole week.  
I'm stuck with Jimin.  
And I can't talk to Junhoe…

God, what will he think when he sees that I'm not answering him for a whole week?  
This is going to be a nightmare. I'll have to explain myself when I get my phone back.  
_'Please wait, Junhoe…'_ I begged, jumping to my feet when I heard my stepfather yelling my name.   
I should hurry. 

  
"Tsk, tsk. I see you decided to be a bad boy all of a sudden." Jimin said as he watched me doing the laundry in a hurry. 

"I didn't notice the time." I excused, "now leave me because you are distracting me."

"I must say, you act odd lately. Even for you. You seem more… happy." 

"I'm sorry your plan to make my life miserable didn't work. Why won't you try harder if you are so disappointed?" I said bitterly, shoving the laundry in before closing the machine and turning it on. 

"I'm going to make dinner. Stop bothering me." 

 

I was making dinner when I suddenly felt someone grabbing tightly my hair.  
"I really hope for you that you learned your lesson." I heard my step father's voice.

"I'm paying for your school, giving you a place to live in and this is the thank you I'm getting? You ungrateful brat." 

"I'm sorry. I'll make sure it won't happen again, I swear." I said, hoping he'll let go of me because it seriously started hurting to the point I was afraid he'll rip half my hair off.  
I whimpered as he let go of my hair, making me look at him by grabbing my chin.

"Dare to disobey me like this again and you can kiss college goodbye."   
I felt as if someone punched me in my stomach.  
The idea that next year I'll be free from this jail is the only thing which stops me from giving up. 

Jiwon always comforts me, telling me that next year will be better. That we'll live together and I'll be able to live in peace.  
One more mistake… And this dream will be crushed. 

"Am I clear?" My stepfather asked annoyed, "don't make me repeat myself. This is your last chance." 

"Yes." I nodded, returning back to cooking when he let me go.  
I really wanted to cry to Jiwon or Junhoe right now.  
But I can't.  
For a whole week, I'll have no one but Jimin and his friends.  
I knew this was a mistake. I was too careless. 

I should have stopped talking with Junhoe when he passed that stupid test.   
But now it was too late. I can't go without talking to him.  
It became such an important part of my daily routine…  
I fucked everything up. 

  
  
"C'mon, Jinani. Why the sad face?" Jimin said amused, wrapping an arm around me as we waited for his friends to pick him up. 

"Aren't you happy to go to school with me?"

"I prefer to get hit by a bus." I said bitterly.  
I know exactly what he's planning to do to me this week.  
I had enough of his teasing and harassment at home. Now he has a whole week to do whatever he wishes with me since my friends can't help me. 

And his father sure won't be against him. He wants to teach me a lesson after all.   
I am back to the point I was in before meeting Jiwon.  
I became so dependant on my friends that I have no idea how I'll survive this week. 

"Look who's here!" Jimin said cheerfully as we got inside Taehyung's car.  
I really didn't want to be next to his friends. 

"Your brother?" Taehyung raised an eyebrow. "That's new." 

"He's going to spend the entire week with us." Jimin smirked.   
I wish the ground would swallow this car. This way I won't have to deal with this bullshit.  
Jimin was bad enough on his own. His friends aren't going to make this any easier on me. 

"Jinani here is going to help us with that bet we had. Right Jinani?" Jimin smiled as he played with my hair.

"I told you. If you want, go and fuck him yourself." 

"He's really not my type." Jimin rolled his eyes, pulling my hair hard enough to make me hiss. "Besides, he knows me. He will reject me. But you… He might expose himself enough for us to know who is right." 

"Why not make your best friend do it then? Why it has to be me?" 

"He knows Tae too. And he avoids him." 

"He doesn't avoid me." Taehyung frowned. 

"Seriously?" Jimin chuckled, "he gets all nervous if you try to ask him a simple question like what's his next class." 

"Shut up." 

"You see, my dear brother? That's why it has to be you." 

"I'm not doing it. You can kick me out of this car right now if you want. It would put me out of my misery." 

"Oh, don't start with this suicidal bullisht again. It's just a week." Jimin let go of me, "why do you have to be so dramatic about this?" 

"Because I'm not the whore you claim me to be. And I'm not going to start now. Besides, why you care so much if he's gay? Let him be a closet gay peacefully." 

"This isn't working like this, Jinani." Jimin crossed his arms as he leaned back in his seat. "That's the point of a bet. We need to know who is right. And you, as my brother, have to help me out here." He leaned closer to me. "Or I might tell dad you are going against him." Jimin whispered in my ear. 

"We wouldn't want **that** to happen. Right…?" 

I sighed in frustration. "Fine, I'll flirt with him." I gave up.

"But you two are assholes for playing with him like that." 

"We'll deal with that later." Jimin shrugged, smiling. "Right Tae?" 

"You're impossible." Taehyung said amused. "If and when we'll find out he's not gay, you are going to pay."

"Fine." Jimin said amused.

  


"I can't believe I'm doing it…" I mumbled annoyed as I walked to Jungkook's direction.   
I honestly don't want to do it. But I know Jimin and Tauhyung are watching me.  
Fuck my life.  
Though Jimin is already doing it. 

"Hey, Jungkook?" I asked, tapping on his shoulder. 

He turned to look at me, taking one earphone out. "Can I help you?"   
He was seriously tall, why the hell all of Jimin's friends are so huge?  
Though, Junhoe was tall as well. Probably taller than Jungkook.  
Shit. What am I supposed to say? I never flirted before! 

"Well," I started, trying my best not to panic. "I know it might sound sudden, but…" I hesitantly reached my hand and placed it over his chest, stepping a bit closer to him. 

"I kind of find you really attractive… Are you seeing anyone?"  
He looked at me a bit surprised, placing a hand over mine to make me take it off. 

"I.. Uh… I'm sorry." He frowned, "but I already have someone I'm interested in."

"Oh…" I tried to fake disappointment. "I hope this person knows how lucky he is…"

"I don't think he does… I mean…" Jungkook looked shocked all of sudden as if he said something he shouldn't have. "I didn't mean-"

I simply smiled at him. "That's fine. Don't worry." Poor guy. I can see how it hurts him that the person he likes doesn't see him that way. And now he outed himself by an accident…

He really needs to find new friends.

"I hope it would work out." I said and waved him goodbye as I walked away, giving Jimin a nod.

"I knew it! You owe me dinner." He told Taehyung.   
I must say, I actually felt bad for Jungkook right now, because he looked at them with a hurt expression.  
Poor guy. I wanted to go back to him and tell him not to mind Jimin and find someone who'll deserve his feelings.  
But it's not my place to intervene. I'm not his friend or someone close to him.  
But I do feel bad. 

  
I walked to my Japanese class, worried about seeing Junhoe.   
He must be mad.  
I'm not answering his texts for a day now.  
I owe him an explanation, but what if next week it'd be too late?  
_'Maybe I should write a note and ask Mr. Lee to pass it to him.'_ I thought as I walked into the classroom, seeing Junhoe in his seat, staring at his phone as if he's waiting for something. 

I felt like crying at this moment.   
I have to explain to him what happened.  
During the entire class I thought about how to write him this note.  
Where do I even begin?  
I have to write just enough for him to understand my situation, but not too much so I won't expose myself. 

  
"Mr. Lee?" I walked towards the blonde after class. "Can you please pass it to Junhoe? I'm unable to talk with him at this moment and I have no way to let him know that." 

"Of course." Mr. Lee nodded, taking the note from me.  
I decided to keep it simple.  
I wrote that I'm not going to be logged in for a week because I'm grounded.  
Of course, I apologized for not being able to explain it sooner and promised to contact him as soon as I'm done with my punishment. 

"Thank you." I bowed and walked out of the classroom, nearly bumping into Junhoe who stood not far from the door, checking his phone.   
I hope he didn't overhear me. But he seemed too focused on his phone to notice something.  
I walked past him, hearing Mr. Lee's voice calling him.  
I really hope he will understand.  
And I really hope for this week pass quickly. 

 

* * *

 

This week is the worst torture I could suffer.  
Spending every day with Jimin and his friends, going to and from school with them, eating lunch with them, having Jimin or Taehyung meet me after my class and walk me to make sure I don't talk with my friends, watching Jiwon, Donghyuk, and Yunhyeong giving me both concerns and confused looks in the hall or during class and watching Junhoe looking at his phone impatiently… 

All of that was too much.   
During those last 6 years I'm living with them since I lost my mom I never made a mistake like this.  
Well, maybe a bit in the first year. But I was still young and I was so broken at the fact I'll never see her again. 

I learned my place eventually.   
I did whatever they asked. I stopped arguing when I understood it would only hurt me.  
I don't understand why I had to be punished like this.  
They both know just how much my friends mean to me.  
And now I had no one to comfort me. To promise me everything will be okay at the end. 

Jimin wasn't making anything any easy, pushing me to be his play doll by threatening to tell his dad I'm meeting with my friends.   
He didn't stop touching me, humiliating me, forcing himself on me or even bringing the suggestion I'll sleep with his friends.  
It's been such a long time since I felt like there is no hope for me. And having this feeling hit me like a wave managed to knock me over. 

I looked at the mess I did in the bathroom.   
Jiwon will be mad at me.  
But having no one to talk with…  
I sighed and turned on the water, washing everything away.  
Just two more days.  
Two more days and I'm getting my life back.  
Or what is left from it, at least.  
I started to sob, holding tightly onto the sink as I watched the blood mixing with the water.

It's been two years since the last time.   
Two years since I told Jiwon everything and stopped thanks to his support.  
And now I'm breaking because of one rough week?  
How pathetic of me.  
He'll be really mad once he finds out…  
I can't hide it from him.

I took my time to calm down, washing everything away before bandaging my wrists and hiding it with my sleeves.   
I washed my face with cold water and took deep breaths, reminding myself I have only two days left for this torture.  
For now, I should probably hurry with dinner and Jimin's work before those two days really turn into a month. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry guys 😖😖😖  
> I put poor Jinani through some tough shit and I'm so sorry 😭


	8. Chapter 8

Once my stepfather gave me my phone back I thanked him and ran upstairs to my room.  
First I sent a voice message in the group chat, explaining to my friends **everything** that happened this week.  
I didn't even wait for their response and called Junhoe, hoping he'll answer me.  
So many unanswered messages from him… God.   
I really hope he got my note. 

_ 'Fuck. You really called.'  _ My heart jumped when I heard his voice. 

"I'm really really really really really really sorry!" I apologized. "I'm sorry! My phone was taken away, I couldn't talk with anyone! Did you get my note?! God, Junhoe… I'm so sorry…" I started sobbing.

_ 'Hey, hey! Don't cry… it's okay…'  _ he said calmly.  _ 'Please don't cry angel.'  _

"I'm sorry…" I wiped away my tears. "I really am. I saw how concerned you were… But I'm too much of a coward to even tell you who I am… I could come to you and explain myself but I didn't…!"

_ 'It's okay angel, everything is okay. Please calm down… for me?'  _

  
It took me some time, Junhoe told me 'it's okay' over and over until my sobbing stopped.   
I couldn't help it but cry.   
For a whole week, I had no one to talk with. I had to go through this shit alone. I couldn't tell my friends what happened and I couldn't talk with Junhoe.   
"I'm… I'm sorry…" I apologized again. 

_ 'Stop apologizing. Everything is fine. Here, you calmed down?' _

"Yes…"

__'I'm glad. I don't want to hear my angel is crying. I can't blame you for getting grounded.'  
I sighed. If he only knew…   
I bit my lower lip, wondering if I should tell him…   
No. No.   
This is ridiculous. My friends know about my problems. Junhoe doesn't need to. 

"It's just… It's been the worst week of my life…" I said quietly. "My… Brother had to 'babysit' me and my… My father was  **really** mad. I couldn't talk with anyone at all…" 

_ 'Angel, it's terrible…'  _ he said in worry.  _ 'Is everything okay now?' _

"Yes." I lied. I don't want him to worry when he has his own problems. "I finally got to talk with you. Everything is great." 

_ 'I'm happy you are better. You have no idea how worried I was. When Mr. Lee gave me your note I almost hugged him. How embarrassing.' _

I couldn't help but laugh at that. "You serious?"

_ 'You have no idea how relieved I was! I was worried sick something might have happened…'  _

"I'm sorry…" 

_ 'Hey! I told you to stop.'  _ Junhoe scolded me.  _ 'It's fine. I get to talk with you again. That's all that matters to me right now.'  _

"I missed you. Talking to you became a part of my day and it was so difficult not to be able to do that... " 

__'I know what you mean. I thought I'm going crazy.'  
I saw I have notifications from our group chat. Most of them were from Jiwon and god he was pissed.   
Yunhyeongie was worried by the tone of his messages and Donghyuk tried to reason both of them, asking me how I'm doing now.   
I responded with a short: 'in the middle of a call with Junhoe. Will respond soon. I'm fine and alive.' 

"I really missed hearing your voice…" I admitted.   
It didn't take me long to understand just how much I love his voice. It was deep yet calming in a way.   
I already happen to fall asleep a few times in the middle of a call. 

He chuckled.  _ 'I missed yours as well… God, I missed you so much, angel. I'm really glad to be able to hear your voice again.'   
_ I smiled softly. Fuck. I missed him so much... 

"I'm back now." I promised. "So don't worry. I'm sorry to end this so soon but I'm kind of tired. I promise I'll talk with you some other time."

_ 'Have a goodnight angel. Sweet dreams, love you.' _

"Love you too…" I said and hang up the call.   
I sighed in relief and dropped myself on my bed, smiling. Junhoe is really sweet. I'm so happy he wasn't mad at me.   
During this entire week I only thought about what should I say once I get the opportunity, and today I simply burst into tears.   
How embarrassing.   
I sighed, hugging my pillow.  
He said he loves me.  
It's not the first time he said that, but it still made me smile like an idiot each time he said that. 

We have been dating for about a month, he doesn't know who I am or how I look like. But he agreed to have a relationship with me. And I know I regretted it a lot at first…   
Now, I was actually happy. Really happy. And remembering our conversations made me even happier, knowing he still is interested in me.   
I sighed deeply as Jiwon was calling me.  
I should be prepared for his yellings.   
I took a deep breath and pressed the 'answer' button. 

_ 'Kim fucking Jinhwan! What the hell?! Do you know you caused me a fucking heart attack when I saw you walking in the hall with Jimin's arm around you?! You better start explaining from the beginning!'  _

"Jiwon…" I sighed. "Okay, so I got too carried away with my conversation with Junhoe. We've talked for 3 hours without me noticing, and my stepfather got pissed about the fact I'm not doing my chores so he said he's grounding me for a week and took away my phone. He also said that Jimin needs to babysit me to make sure I'm staying away from you guys at school. And the worst part? He said that this is my last chance and next time I can say goodbye to college… one more screw up and I'm dead Jiwon." 

_ 'Fuck, Jay…'  _ I could hear the worry in his voice.  _ 'You really must be super careful…'  _

"I know…" I sighed. "I'm sorry I couldn't contact you and let you know how I'm doing…"

_ 'At least you're at home. I was thinking something worse happened.'  _ Jiwon said in slight relief.

"Umm… it isn't completely untrue…"

_ 'Jay… what have you done?'  _

"I'm sorry!" I hurried to say. "I… I couldn't talk with you guys… Jimin was both harassing me and using me to his amusement during this week… His father was giving me dirty looks as if waiting for me to screw up and… I'm sorry, Jiwon…" 

_ 'Jay, you cut yourself…?' _

"Yes… I'm sorry…!" 

_'Jay, you were doing so good…'_ I could hear the worry and disappointment in his voice. I felt terrible.   
He did everything he could to make me stop. Jiwon was always there to cheer me up, to promise things will get better.   
He was the best friend I could ask for.   
And I just disappointed him. 

"I'm so sorry Jiwon… I know it's pathetic… I didn't talk to you just for a week and I hurt myself again…" 

_ 'It's not pathetic, Jay…'  _ Jiwon sighed _. 'You were all by yourself. And Jimin probably didn't make it any easier on you. Just please…please tell me it was a one time thing… And tell me Jimin didn't try anything funny, or I swear he's dead.'  _

"It was only one time and…" I sighed deeply. "He tried. Because I couldn't say no to him." 

_ 'Fuck… If I could I would have taken you to my place at this second.'  _ Jiwon said in worry.  _ 'You poor thing. What did he do?'  _

"He… he moved a hand on my thighs, left a hickey on my neck, he basically touched me whenever he could and… God Jiwon, it was terrible. All I could think about is Junhoe…" 

_ 'This fucking… God, Jay… You don't deserve this.'  _

I'm used to this. There isn't much I can do.   
Jimin barely got his hands off me during this week, and the fact I could do absolutely nothing but tolerate it made me really frustrated.   
"I'm… I'll survive this… Somehow…"' 

_ 'Jay, you don't deserve to go through this shit! God… this son of a bitch.' _

"There's nothing I can do, Jiwon…. I can't do anything against them now. One more mistake and I'm screwed. Jimin can come up with any stupid lie to turn his father against me now… I'm literally walking here on thin ice."

_ 'But Jay, you know exactly what his dirty intentions are.' _

"I know… so far he didn't try it again. I only hope he wouldn't…"

_ 'Are you seriously telling me right now that you're okay with him  _ **_raping_ ** _ you?'  _

I wiped away my tears. God, I'm crying too much today. But I just can't help it after the shitty week I had. 

"At this point… I'm willing to go through anything…  **Anything** , if it means next year I'll be able to go to college with you, Jiwon…" I said, moving my fingers through my hair. "I just want it to end…" 

_ 'God, just a year, Jay. That's it, please just wait  this year…'  _

"I.. I have to go…" I said quietly. "I'll talk to you guys at school… I promise.." 

_ 'Goodnight. I'll pick you up in the morning.'  _

"Goodnight…" I ended the call and put my phone away.   
A year…  
Compared to what I've been through, a year is nothing. We already are getting closer to the new year. We'll be studying to our finals before we know it.   
But compared to any other year… Now Jimin had more power against me.   
His father would believe anything he'll say.   
One mistake on my side can cost me my entire future. 


	9. Chapter 9

I was making dinner as usual as I listened to music in my earphones.  
Since the new year is next week it started to get really cold outside so I decided to make soup.  
I looked at my phone as it stopped the music and played my ringtone music, looking at who's calling me.  
I smiled as I saw who it was.  
"Hey, Junhoe."

_ 'Hey angel, how are you?' _

"Fine, I'm making dinner." 

_ 'It seems like every time I call, you make dinner.'  _ He said amused.  _ 'Can't anyone else do that?'  _

"Nope. I don't mind it. So, what is it? How are you doing?" 

_ 'Well… I actually have something to ask you… and I really hope you won't freak out.' _

"What is it Junhoe?"

_ 'Well… you know Song Minho, right?' _

"Of course I know Minho. What about him?"

_ 'Well… you maybe heard of the new year party he's doing next week…'  
_ Oh God, this can't be good.

' __And… we're kind of dating for almost three months now so I was wondering… can… can we meet at the party…?'  
I bit my lower lip, unsure how to respond to this.   
I can't go. Obviously. My stepfather won't allow it, especially after my screw up a few months ago. And Jimin…   
If I'll try to sneak out and he'll catch me… I don't want to think about how he'd use it against me. 

"I'm… Not really a party person…" I said, wanting to punch myself. "Besides, I have so much work…" 

_ 'Work? It _ 's  _ the  _ **_new year._ ** _ ' _ Junhoe argued.

"I… I don't know Junhoe…"

_ 'Look, think about it. I'll wait for you next to the pool in the backyard of his house, okay? Please consider it, I want to see my angel so bad…'  _

"I… I'll think about it." I said hesitantly. "I'll talk with you later, okay?" 

_ 'Okay. Bye angel.' _

"Bye." Junhoe hung up the call. I took a deep breath.  
To meet Junhoe?  
I really want to. But… my stepfather would never let me go to this party. I did get an invention from Minho himself since I'm a friend of Jiwon and Hanbin but…  
I just can't go.   
I can't meet my friends after school. I can't go anywhere during the weekends or holidays. Friends can't come to visit me…   
I'm literally a prisoner here. 

_ 'Junhoe just asked me out to Minho's party…'  _ I wrote in our group chat and played my music again, focusing on the soup while waiting for them to reply. 

**_Donghyuk:_** _You have to go! We tried to convince you to go to this party for a week!  
_ ** _Me:_** _I can't and you guys know it.  
_ ** _Yunhyeong:_** _Jay! You have to!  
It's finally your chance to have a proper date with Junhoe.   
_**_Jiwon:_** _I have to agree.  
You are going. No 'buts'.   
_**_Me:_** _Guys… I appreciate the concern, but I really can't. I already screwed up once. I can't risk it.  
_ ** _Jiwon:_** _Screw it! I'm kidnapping you to my house next month when you legally won't be a minor.  
_ ** _Me:_** __Jiwon… I thought you said next year. How the hell am I supposed to live on my own? Not to say that I'll be a complete burden on your family.  
I hate everything about this idea. I'm not going, you guys. 

I can't…   
I'm too much of a coward to do anything. I'm too used to my current lifestyle to do something to change it.   
I don't want Jimin to have anything against me. I don't want to risk his father catching me.   
I can lose too much here. 

"You better not be on your phone again instead of doing your chores." I felt Jimin wrapping an arm around my shoulder. "Dad won't like it." 

"I'm almost done. Go away." I gave him a look.

"Hmm… so hostile." He said, pressing soft kisses along my neck.   
I tried to move away from him but he held me tighter. I could feel him smirking against my skin. 

"Now, this is simply rude…" 

"For fuck's sake, do you want to have dinner tonight or you want to starve?!" I snapped, "leave me so I could finish the damn thing."   
He lifted my chin, making me look at him.

"You're walking on a thin line Jinani." 

"You are literally distracting me here. After I told you so many times to stop." I gave him a look, "leave me. I won't say that again." 

"Fine. But only because I'm starving." He let go of me.  
If there's something I dreamed about in the last months is Junhoe kicking his ass for harassing me. It's a nice fantasy.   
But sadly, as of now, it will stay nothing but a fantasy. 

I sighed and focused back on the soup which seemed to be ready.   
I still have homework to do. And I should check my phone if the guys sent something.   
But not now.   
I hope they won't try to convince me to come. I mean… There's nothing I'd like more than that.   
But it's impossible for me. 

 

* * *

 

"Okay, we're going out. I'll be with friends while Jimin will be with Taehyung and Jungkook. I'll pick him up and we both will be back at 12 am. Dare, just  **dare** to try and go out to this damn party you were invited to and I'll ground you for a year. Am I clear Jinhwan?"

"Yes, father." I nodded.

"See you at 12 Jinani." Jimin smirked and shut the door in my face.  
I sighed deeply, dropping myself on the couch.   
At least I'll have a few hours of peace from them.   
I'll probably end up watching a movie, take a shower and go to bed.   
I'll have to write Junhoe I'm not coming. I don't want him to wait for nothing.   
Just as I was about to write to him, there was a knock on the door.   
I frowned at that. Did they forget anything?   
"I'm coming!" I got up and walked to the door. 

"The hell you're all doing here?" I asked surprised as I saw my friends at the door.

"Taking you to the party with us." Jiwon smiled. 

"Jiwon, I said I'm not going. You'll get me in trouble." I sighed, "please guys, just go. I'll be fine." 

"Jay, Junhoe will be waiting for you tonight." Yunhyeong insisted, "and you'll be there. We brought you clothes and we even brought a few things to do a little makeover." 

"We'll make sure to bring you back before midnight." Donghyuk continued. "You are going out tonight and we don't take no for an answer." 

"No. Now go away."

"C'mon Jay! Your prince charming is waiting for you. It's time you'll be happy and Junhoe makes you happy! As your friends, we'll make sure it would be the best night of your life. Now, drag him upstairs. We have lots of work to do."

"Wha- hey!" I tried to protest as Donghyuk lifted me. "Put me down!" 

"I will once we'll be in your room."

I sighed frustrated, letting myself be carried to my room. "I hate you guys." 

"Jay, how about you shut up?" Jiwon asked, "you complain too much. Once in your life do something selfish! You deserve that." 

"If I'm getting caught - I'm grounded for a  **year** . And Jimin will be there as well." 

"Dude, Minho's house is huge. It's not likely you'll run into one another." Donghyuk put me down and made me sit by my desk. 

"Besides, it's a mask party so there's no way he'll find out you're there. Now, let us work our magic."

"Once we will be done, you would really look like an angel." Yunhyeong said cheerfully.   
I looked at them. They really were determined to make me meet Junhoe tonight. I don't understand… 

"Why are you willing to go through this trouble? Taking me means you'll have to leave early too. I want you guys to enjoy your night." 

"Jay, that's what friends are for." Jiwon shook his head, "how can we sit aside when you have a chance to be happy? Now shut up and let us get you ready."

  
"All done~" Yunhyeong moved his hands away from my eyes, letting me look at the mirror in my room.  
I… was it really me?  
I was wearing a white suit and a white mask with blue embroidery shaped like wings decorating it with a few white feathers decorating its borders. Not to say the makeup they put on my face, it made my eyes to pop even though the mask I was wearing. 

"Guys… What the hell… " I said amazed. "This is ...wow…" I was speechless. 

"I bet Junhoe would be speechless as well." Jiwon said amused, "now, I don't want to rush you, but we have about four hours. So we better get going. Set reminders to 11:30 to make sure we bring Jinhwan on time." 

"On it." Donghyuk nodded, taking my phone and setting a reminder.

"Now, let's take you to meet your prince charming." Jiwon smiled. 

 

  
The guys weren't joking when they said there is no chance of me running into Jimin.   
Minho sure was rich, what the hell?   
There were already so many people there. I wasn't used to big crowds. I wasn't used to being outside of the house besides school hours.   
I think I'm starting to have anxiety from looking at all of this and realizing I really am here. 

"Where did Junhoe said he'll be?" Jiwon asked me. 

"The pool." I answered. "I'll manage, go and find Hanbin."

Jiwon nodded and smiled. "Have fun with prince charming. You deserve it."

"Thank you, I owe you big time." I thanked him, making my way through the crowd to find this pool.

I noticed people looking at me and whispering. I think I heard some girls giggling as well.   
I wasn't used to this attention. At school, nobody bothered noticing me because I was a nobody. Again, thanks to my lovely stepbrother.   
But now… So many people's eyes were on me.   
I felt nervous.   
But all of that disappeared when I saw the guy I was looking for, standing by the pool with a drink as he nervously checked his phone.   
Even with the mask on, I know it's Junhoe. I spend enough time staring at him to recognize him just about anywhere. 

I smiled as I walked to his direction. I can't believe I'm finally going to do that.  
"Guess who." I said playfully as I covered his eyes. 

"You came…" Junhoe said in a relieved tone. "I started thinking I am going to get stood up."  
He said and made me  move my hands away so he could look at me.  
He looked really surprised. 

"Wow…" was all he could say as he looked at me.   
I smiled. I guess Jiwon was right. Junhoe really was speechless.   
"It must be a dream…" He mumbled, "are you even real?" 

I chuckled and took his hand in mine. "Yes, I am."   
He put his drink aside and pulled me into a tight hug.

"I waited to hold you in my arms for so long…" 

I was caught off guard. That was too sudden.   
But… Junhoe felt warm. And he had a really good smell.   
I smiled softly as I rested my head against his chest. I don't know what it is, but this simple hug made me feel kinda safe.   
I have been talking with this guy through Skype for too long. Even though I see him at school, it isn't the same as interacting with him. 

"To be honest, I didn't think you'll be so small compared to me. But it only makes you cuter. God… I still can't believe I actually have you in my arms right now…"  
I couldn't help it but blush.   
People used to have fun of my short height. I got used to it eventually.   
But when Junhoe mentioned it… It didn't sound like an insult. 

"So, does my angel want to dance?" He offered with a smile. 

"I'll step on you." I looked down. I've never danced before. I probably am going to make fun out of myself. 

"It's a risk I'm willing to take." Junhoe brushed my hair, offering me his hand. I smiled as I took it, resting my other hand on his shoulder.   
I really am at a party, with Junhoe with me.  
My friends are simply amazing. Without them I would be in my room, coming up with a lame excuse to Junhoe why I can't show up to the party. 

 

  
"So, I take you're not disappointed?"  
I looked at him at some point.   
We danced for a while outside and then Junhoe brought us drinks.   
We found a quiet spot to talk at and I had to admit - I was having so much fun.   
Junhoe was sweet not only during our calls but in real life as well. I actually started considering telling him who I am.   
But first, I wanted to make sure he wasn't expecting… Something else. 

"Disappointed? You're like a dream coming true." Junhoe reached a hand to brush my hair, smiling.   
A dream…? what?   
"I… I really was nervous about tonight. I didn't know if you'll come, and for the past few months, I started… Putting up a face to match the voice." 

"And…? How off I am from what you imagined?" 

"A lot." Junhoe laughed. "I thought you'd be taller, with a bit bigger body frame. Probably the type of guy who takes dance lessons or something like that. But… I'm happy my imagination was off. Because the reality is  **so much** better. Honestly. I can't understand how I can see such a beautiful person every day and not even remember him…" 

_ 'Because why would you notice the school's loner?'  _ I thought to myself.  _ 'I'm a nobody compared to you. An attention seeker. Jimin's personal slut. At school… It's better for you not to know me.'  _

"I could give you a few reasons. But it would expose me." 

"Are you sure you're going to my school?" He asked, and I couldn't help but chuckle. 

"You always walk into class five minutes before it starts. You look at Mr. Lee with a confused expression whenever he explains anything new. All in Japanese. You are friends with Kim Hanbin and Jung Chanwoo, and you really can't be quiet for more than a few minutes. You looked anxiously at your phone when I suddenly logged off without an explanation. And the day you got an A on the Japanese exam you sent it to me straight away, sneaking looks around the class in the hope I was stupid enough to keep my phone on sound." 

"Then how come I never saw you?" He asked, sounding almost frustrated. 

"Because you never tried to notice me."

I looked into his eyes as he gently cupped my face in his hands.  
"I still don't understand how I can be so damn blind and not notice you…" he said softly.

"I guess you need to try harder." I smiled

I stayed still as Junhoe slowly leaned down, looking into my eyes.  
I slightly parted my lips as I wrapped my arms around his neck, closing my eyes as he pressed a soft and sweet kiss on my lips.   
It lasted only a few seconds, but it was enough for my heart to go crazy.   
Koo Junhoe, the only guy I had any interest in, the same guy I'm so scared to tell him who I am…  
Kissed me.   
He doesn't know me, but yet he likes me. He wanted to date me, to meet me…   
I don't understand him. 

I looked at him as he slowly took off his mask. To be honest, he looked so much better without the mask hiding his face.  
I continued looking at him as he gently cupped my face again, his fingers slowly taking off my mask.  
I didn't protest so it was my way to show him I'm okay with that.  
My heart was beating like crazy right now.

But right then my phone rang, surprising us both.   
Wait, no…   
Already?   
Junhoe let go of me and I took the phone out of my pocket, seeing it really was 11:30.  
Shit.   
I have to find Jiwon and the rest.   
"I… I have to go." 

"No… please don't…" Junhoe begged, holding my hand.

"God, I'm so sorry Junhoe, but I really can't stay. I have to go." 

"But why? What's wrong?" 

"Curfew. I'm dead if I won't make it on time. I really did enjoy this night." I tried to make him let me go.   
He tightened his grip, looking at me with a begging expression.   
"I have to go." I pulled my hand out of his grip and ran from there, going to look for my friends. 

 

  
"We have to go. **Now.** " I said in a panic as I found my friends.  
He's going to kill me, I shouldn't have done that! This was a terrible idea.   
I'm dead.   
My stepfather will find out I got out of the house and would ground me for life! 

"Let's go." Jiwon grabbed my arm and the four of us hurried out of Minho's place back to the car.   
Fuck.   
I was careless again.   
Did I learn nothing from last time?   
Wait.  
My hand feels like it's missing something.  
My mother's bracelet!  
How could I lose it like that? Can this get any worse?

"Jiwon! Wait, my bracelet!" I said in worry, stopping him.

"There's no time, I'll ask Minho to find it for you tomorrow." Jiwon insisted, dragging me inside the car.

  
  
"I'm dead. I'm so dead. Why I let you guys drag me?!"

"Calm down Jay! I can't wipe off the makeup with you moving around all the time!" Yunhyeong complained. 

"What does it matter?" I whined. "We are not going to make it on time! It's either my stepfather finds out and murders me or Jimin finds out and uses it against me! My life is over either way!" 

"It is not over. Calm down." Jiwon said, "I'll bring you home in time. Let Yunhyeong wipe your makeup and calm your shit."  
I sighed frustrated, closing my eyes as Yunhyeong wiped away the makeup from my face.

"Did you enjoy tonight at least?" Donghyuk asked.

"It was amazing…" I sighed. "He was about to take off my mask…" 

"So will you tell him now who you are?" Yunhyeong asked, making me look at him to check if he got everything off. 

"Are you out of your mind?" I frowned, "it doesn't matter anymore. I'm dead anyway. The fact I couldn't tell him today just shows that maybe it's a bad idea." 

"Kim Jinhwan, stop with this bullshit right now. You're not going to die so stop with the panic!" Jiwon said as he drove faster.

  
"Shit." Donghyuk suddenly said.

"Why shit? Shit is not good, what happened?" I asked as I leaned forward to look at the front window.  
It's my stepfather car.

"Shit." I said to myself.   
That's it. I'm doomed. 

"No. It's fine." Jiwon said, stopping his car. "We'll sneak you in." 

"Kim Jiwon, do you hear yourself now?" I looked at him as if he's out of his mind. "That's  **not** going to work!"

"It is, stop being so stubborn!" He said, leaning back to take the jacket off me.  
"Now let's go, quickly."  
We all got out of the car. I cursed as I saw my stepfather parking next to the house.

"Fuck." I cursed again when I realized Jimin noticed me.

'Dad! Jinhwan sneaked out!' I heard him saying as we quickly walked around the house. 

"Fucking snitch." Donghyuk hissed. 

"Fuck me. I'm doomed." 

"Shut up already. If they see you in bed they can't assume anything." Jiwon hit me. 

We stood underneath the window of my room, looking up.  
"You're crazy." I looked at Jiwon and Donghyuk as they reached their hands to give me a push up.  
"It's the fucking second floor."

"Look at the bright side, it is better to die from the fall then get killed by your father." Donghyuk noted. 

"Now get up already!" Jiwon hurried me. 

I cursed, understanding I really have nothing to lose here.   
"Fine, fine." I said and took a deep breath, stepping on their hands as they pushed me up. This is the stupidest thing I ever did.   
I grabbed a hold of the window frame, opening it as I tried my best to pull myself in.

'I'm telling you, dad! I just saw him outside with his stupid friends!'  
I quickly closed the window as I heard Jimin's voice from downstairs.  
I got inside my bed and quickly took off my shirt, hiding it beneath the blanket as I covered myself, closing my eyes to pretend I'm asleep as the door opened.  
I felt my heart beating like crazy, I could hear it in my ears.

"See? He's sleeping. You drank too much with your friends tonight." I heard my stepfather voice. 

"That's impossible." Jimin spoke. "I could swear I saw him." 

"I don't think he'll be stupid enough to break the rules again after last time. Go to sleep." 

"But-"

"Go to sleep Jimin."

I sighed in relief as the door closed. I can't believe it actually worked.  
I opened the window, looking at Jiwon.  
"You crazy bastard."  
They started to laugh. 

"We'll see you at school." Jiwon smiled at me. "Told you it'd work out." 

"Thank you." I said, "I.. Really had an amazing night." Besides the fact I lost my mother's bracelet. How could I be so careless? 

"Jay, you deserve to enjoy a bit." Yunhyeong said. 

"And you finally met your Prince. It's already a progress." Donghyuk teased. 

"Get some sleep." Jiwon waved at me.   
I waved back before closing the window again, changing the pants to my pajamas.  
I actually spend the night with Junhoe… and it felt like a dream I didn't want to wake up from.   
I felt so bad leaving him there… I really was about to let him know who I am.   
But I guess it will have to wait…

I sighed, dropping myself on my bed as I covered myself.   
I should probably apologize to him.   
But maybe it's for the best.  
Life isn't a fucking fairytale. Junhoe is better without me.  
If I would tell him, he will want us to go out on dates and I can't get out of the house.   
I was too stupid to believe this would work out somehow.   
I sighed and buried myself beneath the blanket. I should just stop talking with him.   
It's for the best. 


	10. Chapter 10

"I don't know how you did it, but I know you were out." 

"Good morning to you as well." I rolled my eyes at Jimin. "What? You didn't manage to get laid so you take it out on me?" I asked, putting on my shoes.  
Jiwon should be here any minute, and the less time I spend with Jimin - the better. 

"You can't fool me. I saw you."

"I think you drank too much yesterday, I was at home." 

I gasped as he pushed me against the wall, grabbing my hair to make me look at him. 

"I don't know where you got this sudden courage from, Jinani. But be sure I won't let it slide this easily." 

"Prove it." I glared at him

"Don't try to challenge me." Jimin smiled bitterly and let me go. "You might regret it." 

"Bye." I stepped away and opened the door, seeing Jiwon is already here. 

 

"Jimin again?" He asked as I got inside the car.

"He won't let go of what happened last night. I really consider giving him a blow just to make sure he would keep his damn mouth shut." 

"Disgusting." Jiwon made a face, "Jay, don't stoop this low. It's beneath your standards." 

"Just… Let's not talk about last night. I don't want him to overhear something by accident." I sighed. 

"So, are you going to tell Junhoe today?" Jiwon asked with an amused smile.

"No. I decided to stop this relationship." 

"What?! Jay!" 

"Look. Those past few months were… Stressful. Yes, talking with him did make me happy, and yesterday was amazing. I'm really grateful to you guys for helping me out." I said, leaning against Jiwon's shoulder.  
"But this isn't a fairy tale or a movie. This is a reality. And my reality is to put up with Jimin and my stepfather for six more months and hope to graduate. I don't belong in Junhoe's life." 

"You shitting me now? The guy is in love with you and you just going to throw this relationship away?"

"Give him a month and he'll forget all about me. Did Minho find the bracelet?" I changed the subject. 

"He said he'll look." Jiwon sighed, "he still didn't start with cleaning the place. I'll let you know, I promise."  
I sighed frustrated. This really is the worst.  
I hope Minho will find it. I shouldn't have worn it to the party.  
How stupid of me. 

 

  
"Guys, tell Jinhwan he needs to confess." Jiwon said when we met Donghyuk and Yunhyeong at school's entrance. 

"Stop it." I frowned, "he's better off without me." 

"Stop being an idiot." Donghyuk said. "I didn't sneak you to your room last night for you to say this shit now."

"Guys, he'll forget about it eventually. Trust me." 

"Jay… I don't think he will." Yunhyeong said when we walked inside. "And... I think you don't have a choice."   
I frowned at that. What is he talking about?  
But then I saw it. A poster about a lost bracelet which was found yesterday at Minho's party. 

"Crap." I said as I looked at it. He has my bracelet.   
Junhoe has my bracelet.  
It probably got ripped when I pulled my hand from his hold.  
I looked at the poster, biting my lower lip.  
This bracelet is really important to me. It's one of the few things I have left from my mom.  
But taking it back means I have to talk with Junhoe. Meaning I'll have to confess to him.  
Meaning… 

"Jiwon, can't you ask Hanbin to ask him to give it?" I begged

Jiwon frowned. "Hanbin isn’t stupid. He'll understand it's for you and tell Junhoe."   
Fuck, that's right.  
Jiwon was my best friend after all. And Hanbin knows that.  
What am I going to do now?

"Jay, just tell him." 

"No…" I shook my head, "I can't. He doesn't need this mess."

"Jay, let him decide! If he really loves you, he won't give a damn about this mess."   
I tore the poster down and folded it.  
I don't know what to do. This bracelet…  
It is really important to me. 

But I don't think confessing to Junhoe is the right thing. Especially since I decided to end things.   
I won't be able to go on dates with him or spend time with him like couples supposed to.  
Like Jiwon and Hanbin.  
Making Junhoe wait… It's unfair. 

"Jiwon. You know I can't go out after school. You know what will happen if Jimin would find out about him. I'm doing both Junhoe and I a favor here! He doesn't deserve me always giving him lame excuses why I can't go out on dates with him." 

"Why won't you let him decide! Stop thinking you know everything. Jay-"

"I'm going to class." I cut him and walked away, leaving my friends behind.   
I understand they have good intentions. I understand they care about me and that they are simply worried.  
But…  
Junhoe really deserves better. 

I sat in my seat as Junhoe walked inside the class.  
He looked worried and kept looking at his phone.  
He has been sending me lots of messages since yesterday until I decided to block him. 

I'm such a coward. 

Instead of facing him and explaining myself I only hurt him. It's unfair to him.   
He sat in his seat, dropping his bag down. It seems like he really is determined to get a message from me.  
I couldn't help but look at him in worry as I noticed the shine in his eyes, it seems like he's trying not to cry. 

_ 'Please, Junhoe…'  _ I thought, biting my lower lip.  _ 'Please forget about me. I'm not worth it.' _

"Alright class, put your phones away." Mr. Lee said as he walked inside the classroom.  
The students groaned and put their phones on silent, but Junhoe didn't move. 

"Junhoe, you too."  
It didn't seem like Junhoe was paying attention to him. 

"Junhoe, put your phone away." Mr. Lee repeated himself.  
Junhoe sighed and did as our teacher asked, looking up at him.  
Seeing him like that, I felt like crying myself…  
Yesterday was so perfect. He was so sweet and now I'm breaking his heart. 

"Jinhwan, pay attention." I jumped in my place when I heard Mr. Lee calling my name. I looked at him, sneaking looks at Junhoe.   
I really want to believe it's for the best.  
I'll wait a bit.  
A week or two. 

He should forget this by then, right? 

 

* * *

  
  


_ 'Jay, just tell him already.'  _

"Jiwon, stop trying to convince me." I sighed, "it's not that simple." 

_ 'Hey, I'm Jinhwan, AKA your Japanese tutor. It's not  _ **_that_ ** _ hard.'  _

"Well, for you it isn't. Your life isn't being controlled by someone else." 

_ 'Jay-' _

"I have to finish dinner. Bye Jiwon." I ended the call and put my phone away, sighing deeply.   
Junhoe was making me happy. He really was. He was so sweet and kind to me.  
He told me he'd wait until I'll be ready…  
And I'll I've been doing was hurt him.  
He seemed so down at school that Even Hanbin started to get worried. Jiwon told me Junhoe has been trying to push him away and pretend like everything is fine.  
And it's all my fault. 

I felt like I lead him on, like I played with him.   
I really was interested in having a relationship but I'm such a mess…  
I wiped away the tears from my eyes. I didn't even care when I felt Jimin wrapping his arms around me again. 

"Crying already, Jinani?" He asked, resting his chin on my shoulder. "What's the matter? Who dared to hurt you beside me?" 

"What do you want…?" I asked him quietly. 

Jimin hummed. I could feel him pressing soft kisses over the back of my neck as he pulled me closer to himself. "If you can stop being so bitter for once that would be great." 

"Let me go…" I said quietly. At this point, I don't think I care anymore about what he'll do to me.  
Fighting him will just give him the reason he wants to get me punished again.  
I'm already walking on thin ice since last time, and he saw me sneaking into the house.  
The fact he can't prove it is what kept me somewhat hopeful that I'll be able to survive those six months without any other incident. 

But Junhoe was hurt because of me…   
I got mad at my friends who simply tried to help me…  
What does it matter anymore what will happen to me?  
I just cause problems for everyone. 

I placed my hands on Jimin's and made him let go of me so I could turn to face him, wrapping my arms around his neck.   
It doesn't matter anymore, right?  
Anyways, I can't do anything. 

Going against Jimin will get me punished.   
Going against his father will get me punished.  
Confessing to Junhoe will make me the joke of the school.  
I really can do nothing about this shitty situation. 

I pressed soft kisses up over his neck and jawline.  
"Let me finish dinner first, okay?" I whispered in his ear. 

"Huh?" Jimin made me look at him. "What kind of game are you playing?" 

"You want to fuck me, don't you?" I asked, "you tried a few times. Now I'm giving you what you want. But I have to finish dinner or your father will get mad."

"Wait, you serious?"

"If you find me too disgusting for this then suit yourself." I shrugged.  
I wanted to forget this shitty day. Junhoe's hurt expression, the fact he looked like he's about to cry…

I don't want to care about this thing anymore. I don't want to care at all.  
I just… I want this to be over already. 

"You've been pushing me away for years." Jimin raised an eyebrow.   
I looked at him, slowly moving a hand over his chest. I can still take it back.  
I can push him off me, finish cooking dinner and lock myself in my room.  
But I didn't want to.  
I've been pushing him away for at least two years now. Maybe if I'll agree he'll finally leave me alone. 

That's another bonus.  
"I'm giving you an opportunity now. Can't promise I'll give it to you tomorrow." I turned back to the counter and continued cooking. 

"Come to my room straight after dinner." He whispered in my ear before walking away.

"I'm so sorry Jiwon…" I mumbled to myself.

  
  
  
_'Fuck…'_ Was the only thing I could think of as I looked up at the ceiling.   
I can't believe I suggested it.  
I can't believe I offered Jimin to fuck me. 

And I actually let him. I walked into his room straight after dinner and didn't even stop to think about what I was about to do.   
I felt so broken to the point I gave myself to him. Just like he wanted.  
To my surprise, I felt nothing. 

I was sure I'll feel disgusted with myself. I was sure I'll regret it and push him away.   
But I didn't.  
It gave me the relief I felt when I cut myself.  
But at least there wasn't any mess to clean or scars to hide this time.  
I wanted to stop thinking. I wanted to stop caring so much.  
And that's exactly what I got. 

I don't care anymore. If nothing works out right in my life, then what does it even matter?   
Why should I keep stressing out over everything?  
I just want to graduate. I want to get out of this place and know what it's like to have a normal life. Is that too much to ask? 

I slowly sat down on the bed, stretching.  
"Leaving so early?" I heard Jimin's voice.  
Looks like he woke up.  
I can't believe I ended up falling asleep in here.  
Though it's nice of him not to kick me out after using me. I'll give him that. 

"Yeah… I'm going to take a shower…" I said without looking at him, trying to find my clothes in the mess which was on the floor.  
I'll have to scrub myself really hard after this. 

"That's it? I don't get a morning kiss or a morning cuddle? That's mean Jinani."

_ This is saved only for one guy, and you're not him.  _

"I only let you fuck me, Jimin. I don't owe you anything beyond that." I managed to find my boxers and put them on, looking for my shirt and pants. 

"I preferred you yesterday, you weren't so mean." He complained. 

I chuckled bitterly and looked at him. "Of course you did. You've been waiting for this for quite a while, no?" I got back in bed and sat on top of him. "You've been waiting for the day I become your little obedient slut, right? Well, you had it. Don't tell me you're not satisfied, Jiminie. That would be selfish of you." 

He lifted himself, leaning to kiss me but I put a finger against his lips, stopping him.  
"Jimin, hear an advice from your dear brother. You seriously need to get yourself a boyfriend so you would take all this sexual tension off." 

"Finding someone to sleep with is a lot easier." He smirked, placing one hand over my waist.    
"Tae and Jungkook started dating. Seems like hard work." 

"Then don't date Jungkook. Find yourself someone you think you'll like. But one night stands aren't the solution." I said and made him let go of me.  
"It was a one time thing. Try it again and I'll cut off your dick." I said bitterly and got out of his room. 

  
I sighed as I moved my fingers through my hair, letting the water wash everything off.   
I should hurry if I don't want to be late.  
I don't know how I'll face Jiwon today. I know he'll be disappointed.  
He knows better than anyone what was going on in my life. We both knew Jimin was only waiting for me to give up.  
And Jiwon was the one who made sure I won't break.  
But now…  
Now I'll have Jimin's marks for a while to remind me how weak I am. Just like my scars.  
I also need to figure out how I'm getting my bracelet back. It seems like it was a prisoner for exchange for my identity. And I wasn't sure what I should do.  
I've decided to wait a bit for now. Junhoe will surely get the hint and give up.  
Who will be after a person who hurt him? 

  
  
"You did what?!" I closed my eyes as Jiwon yelled at me.  
I deserve it.

"I just… first, you cut yourself again, now you let this son of a bitch fuck you like you're his slut… and all this when Junhoe is only thinking about you."  
I really am a terrible person, huh? 

"Junhoe doesn't need me…" I said, looking down. "He'll find someone better. If not now then in college." 

"Jay…" Jiwon put his hands on my shoulders. "He doesn't want better, he wants  **you** ." 

"Well, I don't fucking deserve him!" I snapped. "I said before that he deserves better, that he doesn't deserve the torture of being with me. But I don't deserve him, Jiwon! I'm only screwing up everything in my life. And even now I hurt him because I'm a fucking coward. What exactly did I do in my life to deserve him?" 

Jiwon pulled me to a hug as I started to sob.  
Until I forgot the pain, it came back.  
I want Junhoe to be the one comforting me, I wanted it to be Junhoe instead of Jimin last night.

"I want him so bad…!" I cried, holding tightly onto Jiwon.  
And I can't have him, because I'm an idiot.  
Because I don't deserve him.

He's going to hate me.  
He won't forgive me.  
I lost my only chance to be happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> __  
> **  
>  A/N:**New update schedule for the story.  
> I'll upload one chapter each Thursday and Monday~ __  
> 


	11. Chapter 11

It's been already two damn weeks and Junhoe still didn't give up.  
He's still looking for who the bracelet belongs to.   
I don't know what to do.   
I want my bracelet back so bad, but I can't face him. I don't want him to know it's me.   
I want him to move on and be happy.   
But he refuses to let go. 

I sighed as I sat next to our usual table in the cafeteria.   
The others need to be here soon.   
I looked around to try and spot Junhoe. He stayed behind in class since Mr. Lee wanted to talk with him about his grades. 

From what I understood, since I stopped talking with him they started dropping.   
"Here all alone?"

I groaned in frustration as I looked at my dear brother.   
Since the incident last week he was harassing me less. Which was a good thing.   
He left me alone at home besides coming to ask me if I did his homework.   
So I don't understand why he picks up on me now.  
Like I have any energy left for his bullshit. 

"Go and bother your friends instead of me, would you?" I said annoyed. 

"You should really stop with this attitude of yours." Jimin sat on the table, resting his feet beside me. "It's getting boring, Jinani." 

"Jimin, I told you to stop bothering me, didn't I? What the fuck do you want?" 

"So mean to your brother." He pouted. "At least my friends are waiting for me." He said and looked at the table where his friends were sitting. 

"So what?" I rolled my eyes, "I couldn't care less about what your stupid friends do." 

"Where are yours?" He asked, brushing my hair. 

I moved his hand away. "I'm waiting for them, obviously." 

"Oh? Who said they didn't decide to ditch you? Let's be honest, you are quite of a cry baby lately. I think they got tired of you." 

I gave him a look. "What makes you think you know my friends better than me?"   
Jimin smiled, taking my hand in his to roll my sleeve up. 

"C'mon, Jinani. Stop deluding yourself."   
I tried to pull my hand from his hold but he held tighter, causing me to hiss at the pressure on the recent scars. 

"You're too much to handle. Having to be around you all the time, to take care of you like after a baby… You are only burdening them with your troubles. I know you feel that too. Your depression is simply getting tired. Why should they handle your shit?" 

I felt tears in my eyes.  
I can't believe I'm letting his words to get to me like that.

"See? You were and stayed a cry baby." He smiled as he wiped away my tears with his finger. "Too bad your depression is only for attention. You could have done us all a favor and stop burdening everyone if you only  **really** tried."

I made him let go of me, running out of the cafeteria.  
I just can't handle this anymore!  
What have I ever done to him to make him hate me that much?!   
I never bothered him. I never tried to cross the line and piss him off.  
For the past six years, I was nothing more but his slave.   
He and his father already took everything they could from me.   
Then why…-

"Fuck…!"  
I heard someone call out as I bumped into something and fell down on the floor. 

"The hell? Watch where you're going."   
I froze as I heard the familiar husky voice, looking up only to see Junhoe. And next to him on the floor was my bracelet.   
This is my chance to take it back! 

I reached my hand to it but he stopped me, grabbing my arm.   
"What are you doing? Don't touch that." 

"That's mine!" I snapped at him, taking my hand back. "That's my bracelet, so give it back to me." 

"Who do you think y-"

"You listen to me well Koo Junhoe. I've been going through so much shit those two weeks, and I want my mom's bracelet back, right now!" 

He looked at me surprised. He probably wasn't expecting this.   
I didn't want to snap at him either but I just can't handle all of this anymore!   
I'm so sick and tired of this bullshit... 

"Give it back." I reached my hand to him. "I'm not joking." 

"Are you…"

"Yes, I am. I'm your Japanese tutor, so now give it back." I said impatiently.   
I want it back so much, just to feel a bit of comfort from the last thing I have left of her. 

But instead of giving me my bracelet, Junhoe grabbed my arm and pulled me closer to himself, placing both his hands on my shoulders.   
"Where did you disappear to?!" He asked, "why did you block me? What have I done to you?" 

I didn't expect that. He sounded quite frustrated.   
"I've been trying to reach you. Mr. Lee refused to tell me who you are. Why did you disappear?"

I looked down, starting to sob.  
I can't control my tears anymore. I can't keep it in anymore.  
"B-Because I don't deserve you…" 

"What makes you think that? It's me who doesn't deserve a kind guy like you." Junhoe argued, pulling me closer to himself. 

I shook my head. "I was such a coward… I couldn't face you after this night…! And all I did was hurting you…! How you don't hate me?! You're supposed to hate me right now!" 

"Hate you?" Junhoe asked confused, "are you shitting me? I'm relieved you are okay! You have no idea how worried I was. I thought something terrible happened to my Angel!" 

"Stop that! Why do you care? It shouldn't be like that!" I protested. "How… How can you act like everything is fine?!" 

Junhoe gently cupped my face in his hands, looking at me.  
"Because I love you of course." 

He loves me?   
I've made him go through so much shit for the past two weeks. I blocked him. I made him worried. I hurt him.   
How can he still love me? How can he talk so calmly and be so gentle with me after everything that happened between us?   
He can't love me.   
He needs to hate me.   
I was such an asshole to him…

Junhoe hugged me tightly as I started crying. He brushed my hair, trying to calm me down from my sudden outburst.   
Why…?   
Why is he so nice to me? 

"How can you love me…? I'm such a shitty person… I'm a mess! I fucking made you go through hell in the past two weeks so how?!" I asked as I cried. 

"Because it doesn't change everything which happened between us." Junhoe said calmly.   
"You were the first person I was so open with. You never made fun of me, you never thought my poems or my hobbies are stupid or worthless. You encouraged me to continue writing, to practice harder on the guitar and actually consider a career as a singer. You have done so much for me, angel… And I told you I'll wait for you to be ready. You needed your time, and I can respect that. Even if it makes me worry about you." 

I really don't deserve him.  
But being held like this by him… it didn't feel disgusting like when Jimin does that.  
I actually feel safe. Like nothing can harm me.

"Everything is going to be okay…" Junhoe said softly, waiting for me to calm as he held me close to himself. 

I looked up at him. His hands which held me moved to my face to wipe my tears away.   
"It hurts me to see you cry… Please… Take a deep breath. Everything is fine…"   
I grabbed onto his shirt, not wanting him to let go of me.

"I love you…" I said.  
I love him so much… he really is my prince charming. 

"I love you, too, angel…" He smiled at me. "So please stop crying. It doesn't flatter this cute face of yours." 

"You still find me cute?"

"Of course, without this mask, you look even more beautiful." 

I blushed, wiping my tears away with my sleeves. Junhoe…   
He really was amazing. I can't even begin to express how sweet and kind he is.   
He was weird at times, but Hanbin promised that is normal.   
Well, normal for Junhoe. 

He took my hand in his to wear the bracelet on me but I took my hand back.   
"Just.. Give it. Please." 

He nodded and gave me my bracelet back.  
Finally.  
"Now, let's get you up from this dirty floor, angel."

"Jinhwan." I said. "My name is Kim Jinhwan."   
Junhoe looked at me for something which felt like an eternity but actually was no longer than a few seconds before smiling softly. 

"A cute name to match an adorable face." He said, "c'mon."   
Junhoe pulled me up with ease.   
I sighed softly, resting my head against his chest.

After those terrible weeks, I actually felt peaceful.   
I don't think I felt like this since my mom passed away.   
I didn't want to let him go. Being just like this in his arms is more than okay.   
Junhoe… He still wants me. He still loves me. He still is worried about me.

"Can I get a kiss…?" I asked him softly. 

"Of course you can." Junhoe took my face in his hands, gently brushing his thumbs over my cheeks before slowly leaning forward.   
To my frustration, my phone rang just before he could kiss me. 

_ 'Fucking Jiwon…'  _

"You're not running off again." Junhoe held me. 

"Don't worry." I smiled and put my phone on silent. "I… I've been debating for months if I should tell you who I am. At the party, I felt ready, but then I… Everything just…   
I was in a hurry. I thought that's hopeless... " 

I gasped as Junhoe pulled me to a kiss.   
It wasn't like the soft kiss we shared at the party but something… Deeper.   
I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer.   
How come this felt so… Right?  
Koo Junhoe was really making me happy.  
I only thought of him those last months.   
Nobody else could make me feel the way he does. Nobody else could make me laugh or cheer me up like he could. 

He was the first guy I allowed myself to have feelings for.   
And although I should regret it - I don't. 

"I really love you…" I said, pulling him to another kiss. 

"I love you, too…" Junhoe held me close to himself. "I won't let you avoid me again…"   
I gasped as he lifted me.

"Put me down." I laughed. 

"I'm not planning to let you go." He smiled. 

"Don't be so cheesy. Koo Junhoe!" I scolded him, but it didn't seem to bother him at all. 

"I finally have my angel with me. You know how much I waited for this moment?"   
I smiled at him. 

Junhoe told me I'm his Angel because I just can't be real.   
But is he real at all? 

Although I don't know him for a very long time, he managed to change my life so much. 

For both better and worse, but mostly better.   
He listened to me, he was genuinely interested in me.   
He didn't give up when I pushed him away and even when I hurt him. 

He's a dream I wanted to have for so long but was afraid to.   
I know that I won't be able to go on dates with him.   
I know I'll still have to go back to the hell I live in and try to survive until I graduate.   
But I don't want to think about it for now. I want to enjoy the fact I have Koo Junhoe with me.


	12. Chapter 12

"So when are you planning to tell him?" Jiwon asked as he took a bite from his hamburger.   
We were sitting outside of school, eating our lunch outside since Jiwon complained he doesn't feel like eating in the cafeteria today.

"Never." I frowned.

"C'mon Jay, it's been a month and you keep telling poor Junhoe those excuses why you can't meet for a date after school. Just tell him the truth already."   
I looked at my food, sighing deeply. 

After I burst at Junhoe and we cleared everything out, we started hanging out at school.   
Jiwon was dating Hanbin, Yunhyeongie and Chanwoo also had their thing, so we all hung out at lunch together too.   
And it was…   
Amazing. Really.   
I can't believe Junhoe forgave me after all the shit I made him go through. I really don't deserve him. 

The problem is - he wanted to go out on dates.   
And it's understandable. We are dating after all. Couples go out on dates.   
But I can't. I must go straight home.   
So I came up with lame excuses, saying that we will schedule for a different time just to delay that as well.   
“Jiwon, I can't tell him."

"Why not? He's your boyfriend for 4 months already! You're making the poor guy think you don't want him like that." 

"It took me at least six months to tell you anything. Don't you remember?" I looked at him, "you asked me to hang out, come to your place to study together since phone calls weren't comfortable. You always tried to make me join you guys when you had plans with Yunhyeong and Donghyuk. And I always told you I can't." 

"But that's different. You're not the scared guy you were when I met you." Jiwon argued. "And you are closer to being out of there than ever. You'll be at a legal age soon. So why are you still afraid?" 

I sighed deeply.

"Jay, I told you so many times… this piece of crap can't tell you that you won't go to college. Your mom saved you money for your tuition. It's locked in your fucking bank account that only you can open." 

"I… I don't know. I don't know why I'm so scared or why I'm afraid to do something." I looked down. "I just… I got so used to this life. I know that the second I do something I'm not allowed to everything will become worse. My father… And Jimin… It's too much for me to handle on my own…" 

"And you don't have to. Jay, I'm asking as your best friend, tell Junhoe. The guy loves you a lot, let him comfort you." 

"Isn't that why I have you with me?" I pouted. 

"I don't count. Please, Jay. Tell him." 

"What if he won't look at me the same…?" I asked in worry. "It's one thing to forgive me for blocking him. It's another thing to find out I'm being abused or I developed depression. I don't want him to pity me…" 

"Pity you? Give me a break. Knowing Junhoe, he'll hug the hell out of you, will say something like 'my poor precious angel' and say that he's going to beat the crap out of Jimin." 

I could help but chuckle.   
That's why I'm glad Jiwon is my best friend. No matter how panicked I am, he always knows what to say or do for me.   
I really do appreciate him.   
"Okay. I'll tell him." I nodded. 

"Good boy." He said amused, messing my hair. "Make sure to tell him  **everything** or I'll hit you for being a complete idiot and then I would tell him myself."

  
  
  
"Junhoe…" I held his hand as we walked out of our shared class. "I…" I bit my lip.  
I felt so nervous.  
"I… I need to… tell you something…" 

"Hm?" Junhoe looked at me and brushed my hair. "Sure, let's find a quiet place?" He suggested and I nodded. 

We sat outside of the building, I was looking down the whole time, wondering where I should even start.   
There's too much to tell.   
"Take your time." Junhoe calmed me. "No rush."   
I nodded, taking a deep breath. I can do it.   
He'll understand, right?   
We've been through quite a lot in those four months. I can trust him. 

"I… I lost my mom six years ago. I'm currently living with my stepfather and his son." I hesitantly rolled my sleeves up to expose all of my scars. "And… It's… Quite similar to being in a prison." I chuckled. 

He instantly took my hands in his, looking in worry at my arms.  
"Jay… what is that…?"

"I… I'm fighting a depression for a while now…" I said quietly. 

"I'm like their slave… I need to go straight home every day or I'll get punished, I need to do all the chores around the house… doing my brother's school work… this time I was gone for a week? It's because I didn't notice the time and didn't do my chores so my stepfather grounded me. No phone, no computer, not even seeing my friends for a week. When I ran away at the party? It's because my friends helped me to sneak out of my house and I had to get back before my stepfather would…" 

"God, angel… I don't know what to say…"   
Junhoe said in worry, carefully moving his thumbs over my scars. 

"It gets better." I said, "my brother would harass me non stop. He and my father abused me whenever I didn't follow the rules… I became so scared to make a wrong move. I sometimes feel like I'll never get out of there. Like if I make the wrong step… My life is over…"

I started to sob, I felt I'm shaking.  
It was so hard to tell him.  
"J-Jimin always harassing me… he always trying to touch me…! And… and… when I saw you so hurt I…" I started to cry, shaking my head. "I'm so sorry Junhoe…!"

"What did he do?" Junhoe asked but I shook my head again.

"Jay, what did he do?" He repeated the question. 

"I… I… I was so depressed… and in pain… I-I wanted to forget so… I… I gave in… I'm sorry Junhoe…!"  
Ever since it happened, I felt like I cheated Junhoe in a way. And I regret it so much.   
It gave me a relief only for a short while. But I shouldn't have done that.   
How could I be so weak? 

"Gave in…?" Junhoe asked, making me look at him. "You mean…" 

I nodded. "I… I just thought… 'What...what's the point of fighting? Everything went down to shit anyways… ' Fuck… You have no idea how much I regret that…" 

I won't blame him if he'll be mad or if he'll leave. Honestly, the fact he's still with me is a miracle.   
I don't deserve him. I don't deserve Junhoe in my life.   
I didn't want to burden him with my troubles but I promised Jiwon. And I know it's the right thing to do. 

I closed my eyes as I felt he let go of me. I tried my best not to cry harder.  
I deserve it.

"Where is Jimin?" I heard him asking.   
Huh? 

I opened my eyes to look at Junhoe and wiped away my tears. "What…?" 

"Jimin. Where is he?" He asked again, looking  **really** pissed.   
I never saw this side of him before. 

"P-Probably with his… His friends…" I said quietly, "why?" 

"I'm going to take care of this piece of shit." Junhoe said annoyed. 

I felt panic. "No. No no no. If something will happen to him his father would murder me!" I protested. "Junhoe, please…! Don't...don't do that…"

"Jay, you have fucking scars because of this shit!" He protested. "I'm not going to let him    
continue messing with you anymore." 

"But-"

"Come with me." Junhoe pulled me up with him and took my hand, leading me away.   
I didn't like it. I didn't know he'll react like that.   
I was expecting him to leave me.   
Why… 

  
"Hey, Park." Junhoe called Jimin when we found him with his stupid group of friends.   
I held tightly into his hand, trying to stop myself from shaking. 

Jimin frowned as he noticed I was standing beside Junhoe.  
"What are you doing with this depressed loner?" He chuckled, looking back at Junhoe. "I don't think your father will like the fact you're hanging around low class." 

"That's none of your business, now is it?" Junhoe asked bitterly. 

"Jinani, did you let him fuck you already? Is that why he's so overprotective of you?" Jimin mocked. 

I was surprised when I didn't feel Junhoe's touch anymore.   
He was walking towards Jimin, and I had a feeling Jimin can say goodbye to his pretty face. 

I closed my eyes as Junhoe punched him, hearing gasps around us.  
I opened my eyes again only to see Jimin on the floor with bleeding nose and Junhoe standing on top of him, grabbing his shirt to make him look up at him.

"The hell you think you're doing?!" Taehyung asked, looking pissed.

"You stay away from this or you'll join him." Junhoe said pissed and looked back at Jimin. 

"Now, listen to me well, you midget. Get any close to Jay again… if I'll hear you are causing him to hurt himself again… I'll fucking get you and your father locked. Got it?"

Jimin chuckled. "You think I'm scared of you?"  
He hissed as Junhoe grabbed his hair.

"You should be, I don't think you understand the power I have because of my family."   
Junhoe let go of Jimin and walked back to me, taking my hand. "You are coming over today." 

"Jun-!" 

"You are coming over." He repeated. "You owe them nothing." 

  
  
  
I looked down at my laps, playing nervously with my bracelet.   
I can't believe I'm inside Junhoe's car right now, going to spend the night at his place.  
God.

I'm so dead tomorrow when I come home.  
My father already called a few times until Junhoe took my phone and blocked his number.

"You know how furious he's going to be tomorrow?" I asked Junhoe as I looked at him.

"You're not going back there tomorrow. You're not going back until my dad's lawyer will take care of it." He said. 

I looked at him surprised. "What?" 

"Jay, do you really think that after everything you told me I'm going to let you go back there?" Junhoe frowned. "Hell no. We'll go there tomorrow when there won't be anyone home to pack a bag. I'll take care of you until everything is settled." 

"Junhoe! Are you out of your mind? Do you hear yourself right now?" I asked. 

"Yes, I'm perfectly fine." Junhoe answered calmly. "You are being  **abused** there. How can I, or anyone, allow it? If I have a way to help you, I will. You are not dealing with this alone." 

I sighed deeply, resting my head on his shoulder.  
He really is amazing if he wills to go through this trouble only because of me.  
But I am worried about what his parents are going to think when they see me.   
His father is a well-known CEO after all. He's really respected.   
I'm a nobody.   
A nobody who made his son think about becoming a singer.   
God.

I buried my face in Junhoe's arm. I really don't want to meet his parents.   
"What is it?" Junhoe asked. 

"I'm scared…" I mumbled, "your parents will hate me…" 

"Huh? They are dying to meet you. The hell you are talking about?" Junhoe sounded confused. 

"Wait… what?"

"You think I didn't tell them I have a boyfriend? My mom keeps saying I am too cute when I'm in love and that she wants to see you already. And my dad said he's happy to finally see me less stressed and closed like before." 

I didn't expect that.   
Did I really make Junhoe change that much that even his parents noticed? Do they actually support our relationship?   
Even his father?

"My mom will choke you to death when she'll see how adorable you are. I'll try to protect you." Junhoe smiled.   
I was really surprised, but I had to admit it made me feel a bit relieved.   
At least now I know they won't kick me out of their house once they see me.


	13. Chapter 13

"I'm home!" Junhoe said as we walked inside the apartment he was living in.   
I must say, this apartment looked huge. But it still gave a feeling of a warm home.  
  
'Kitchen!' I heard a female voice, guessing it's his mother.   
  
"Let's go." Junhoe took my hand in his and we made our way to the kitchen.   A nice smell filled the room. I did all of the cooking in the house so I didn't notice it anymore. I even started getting sick of seeing food so often.    
What his mom was making smelled really nice.   
  
  
"How was your day?" Junhoe's mother asked, turning to look at her son. "And who is this adorable guy?"   
  
"Mom, I want you to meet my boyfriend." Junhoe smiled. "This is Kim Jinhwan."  
  
"Um… h-hello…"   
  
"Oh my… Junhoe, you didn't say he was this cute." His mother gave him a look. "And so skinny. Are you even eating properly? Are you hungry? Son, feed your boyfriend!"   
I looked down as I blushed, holding tightly into Junhoe's hand. I felt so embarrassed.   
  
"Mom, Jinhwan is staying over today."   
  
"Is it okay with his parents? Of course, I'll be happy to have him over."   
  
"That's… complicated." Junhoe said, "I'll talk with you and dad about that later. I'm going to give him a tour for now, okay?"   
  
"Okay, dinner will be ready soon."  
Junhoe nodded and took me out of the kitchen to his room. 

 

"I'm sorry about my mom." He said amused, shaking his head.   
  
"Don't be. She seems really nice." I smiled, sitting on the edge of his bed as I looked around. It was so different from my room.    
For a start - it was messy. The bed stayed the same way Junhoe left it when he woke up this morning, his clothes were scattered carelessly over the floor and the bed and you couldn't see his desk with everything which was thrown there. 

The only thing which was placed carefully was his guitar.   
  
  
"I'm...ugh, I'm sorry about this. I didn't think I'll have anyone over."   
  
I shook my head amused, getting up. "C'mon, I'll help you clean this mess."   
  
"No no. It's fine. You sit there, I'll do it." Junhoe stopped me and started picked clothes from the floor.   
  
"It'll go faster." I insisted.   
  
"It's fine. I just want you to tell me if you're okay with me explaining the situation to my parents so they could help you." He gently stroked my cheek before reaching for the clothes on the bed.   
  
"Well, it's not like you left me a choice here. If I'm returning back there, I'm dead."   
  
"I know I was too reckless…" Junhoe sighed, "but hearing all of this… I couldn't just let you go there. It's not a way to live."   
  
"It's not like I chose it." I looked down. "I never wanted to lose my mom… I never planned to develop this stupid depression or have my life turn into a nightmare. But it happened. And I had no choice but to accept this… I'm too weak to do anything. Jiwon offered me help so many times but I said no because I was scared…"  
  
"You don't have to be scared anymore." Junhoe said in worry. "God, I'm going to put those in the laundry. I'll be back in a second and then I'm going to cuddle you. You need some cuddling." I watched him walking out of the room, sighing.   
I know Junhoe did what's best for me. Jiwon always said he'll kidnap me away from my family once I'm legal. Which technically I am.  Jimin can tell him Junhoe hit him and took me away, and it made me wonder if my stepfather would do anything against it.   
  
  
  
"Are you hungry?" Junhoe asked when he came back. "Mom insists you have to eat."   
  
"Didn't you just promise me cuddling?" I asked amused.   
  
"That's what I told her." He walked to me and sat on the bed, "come here."   
I smiled and let him wrap his arms around me, gently making us both to lay down on his bed. "My poor angel…" Junhoe said softly, holding me close to himself as he brushed my hair. "I'll help you out, I promise…" 

I buried my face in his chest, enjoying the warmth around me. He really is amazing.   
I'm so glad I got to meet him.   
  
"I love you… I really don't deserve you…"   
  
"Don't say nonsense." He scolded me. "I didn't even do anything yet. Get some rest, okay…?" Junhoe covered the both of us and pressed a kiss on top of my head.   
I had so many nights of crying, hoping of being held like this by Junhoe.   
To think it's really happening right now and it's not just one of my dreams…  
  
I held tightly into his shirt, not wanting him to leave all of a sudden. I didn't even need to force myself to sleep. Junhoe's scent, his warmth and gentle touch made me sleepy in just a few minutes.   
  
Before I knew it, I closed my eyes and fell asleep instantly.   


 

What woke me up was the sound of my phone ringing.   
I groaned, trying to find where I put it. It's probably Jiwon calling. 

"Hello….?" I answered, yawning. What time was it even?   
_  
_ _'Jay! Hanbin just told me you're at Junhoe's.'  
_  
"Yeah…" I said quietly, getting more comfortable on Junhoe who was still sleeping.   
_  
_ _'Wait, so it really is true?!'  
_  
I hummed. "I'll call you later… Junhoe is sleeping…" I didn't want him to wake up, and I was having such a great sleep. 

I can't believe Jiwon decided to wake me up now out of all times.   
I put my phone away and got more comfortable, closing my eyes.  I don't think I remember the last time I had such a great sleep.  Junhoe was really warm, and his scent calmed me down in a way.   
Having someone to sleep with is definitely better than sleeping alone.   
  
  
"Hmm… Who was that…?" Junhoe asked quietly, bringing me closer to himself.   
  
"Jiwon. Sorry, I woke you up…" I apologized.   
  
"It's fine…" Junhoe yawned and opened his eyes to look at me. "What time is it…? I need to talk with my parents. And you need to eat…"   
  
I took my phone again to check the time. "8 pm.."  
  
"Let's feed you first." 

 

We went downstairs, seeing that Junhoe's parents were in the living room, watching TV.    
His father seemed… A bit threatening, to be honest. I saw him from time to time in articles, but he was different in person.  God, I hope he won't kick me out.   
  
"Oh, son." Junhoe mom smiled when she saw us, "I'm glad to see you woke up."   
  
"We are going to eat first, okay?" Junhoe asked.   
  
"Of course."   
  
I politely bowed at his father, said a quiet 'hello' before I was dragged to the kitchen.   I'm feeling nervous again, I don't like this.   
But Junhoe told me his father doesn't mind our relationship. So I have no reason to worry, right?

 

"Like my mom asked, I'm going to stuff you with food." Junhoe said amused.   
  
"What? No. I'll be fine with a sandwich or something." I tried to protest. "Really, June. It's fine."  
  
"I'm not asking you, angel. You're going to eat dinner like a normal person. Now sit down."   
  
"But-"   
  
"Sit." 

I sighed and sat down, watching Junhoe preparing two plates for us to eat.  I tried to stop him from putting too much but he didn't listen.   
  
  
"Here you go." He smiled as he placed a plate in front of me, sitting next to me.   
I thanked him and started to eat. I must say, it tastes amazing. His mom really is a good cook.   
  
Junhoe looked at me, making sure I'm eating. I took small bites at first, not really being used to big plates like this.  I usually ate while I cooked, a small sandwich or a snack. When I started tutoring Junhoe I often skipped dinner to have time for everything.   
  
Without noticing, I started eating faster. I didn't notice it until now, but I was hungry.   He smiled, pressing a kiss on my head before starting to eat as well.   
I felt really awkward to be in a place beside my home.  I never was at Jiwon's place even. I only saw it through video chats we used to do. 

"Did you boys eat?" Junhoe's mom asked when we walked into the living room.    
I finished eating the entire thing, and I wanted to wash the dishes but Junhoe refused letting me.   
  
  
"It was really good, miss. Thank you." I bowed, thanking her.   
  
"God, you're adorable." His mom said and stood up, hugging me tightly.   
  
"Mom!" Junhoe protested, "you're suffocating him!"   
  
"Nonsense." Junhoe's mom took my face in her hands. "He's a lot cuter than what you described. Isn't he adorable honey?" She looked at Junhoe's father.  
  
He looked at me and nodded. "So you're my son's boyfriend."  
  
"Yes, sir…" I said quietly.   
  
"Dad, don't stress him." Junhoe sighed, brushing my hair. I had to admit it helped me feel a bit calmer, but not by much.   
  
"All this guy does is talk about you. It's good to finally meet you." Junhoe's father reached his hand to me. I looked at it quite surprised but shook it. "And thank you for helping him with his studies."   
  
"I… I was happy to help." I said, "June is a smart guy. He only needed a push."   
  
"Son, you said there's something you need to talk with us about?" Junhoe's mother asked.   
  
"Yes." Junhoe nodded and looked at me. "Wait in my room okay? I'll tell them."  
  
I nodded, walking back to his room.   
I guess it's for the best. He'll know better how to explain the situation to his parents.  Jiwon already was sending me texts that he's preparing the guest room in his house to be my room.  This idiot.   
I guess I should call him. 

 

_'Okay, you owe me a fucking explanation.'  
_  
"It's… A **really** long story. But June punched Jimin and took me to his place. He's… He's talking with his parents now to see if they can help somehow.."   
_  
_ _'See? I told you Junhoe will want to help you. You idiot. By the way, my mom asks if you're okay with anything she would make.'  
_  
" **You** arethe one that decided I'm moving to live with you. I don't remember agreeing to this."   
_  
_ _'I've been telling you that for years!'_ Jiwon argued. I sighed, amused, shaking my head.   
  
"I… I think June just offered me the same. And not to hurt you, I'll prefer that. But… I really don't feel comfortable burdening his family all of sudden. And I don't feel comfortable with burdening yours. But I just can't return home." I fell on Junhoe's bed. 

"What am I supposed to do…"'   
_  
_ _'First of all, with how much you two love each other, you're still dating only for 4 months and 3 of them was online. You're not moving in with him. Besides, I already got your room ready! My brother helped me. And you're not a burden, at this point, you're like a brother to me.'  
_

"And that's why I love you." I smiled. "I'll talk with June. But I'm staying here for the night and you can't stop me."   
_  
_ _'Yeah, sure. You'll need his spoiling.'_ Jiwon agreed, _'but from tomorrow on you're mine and your boyfriend better accept that. Because I said I'll kidnap you. I don't care where it'd be from.'  
_  
I started to laugh. "You idiot. Fine. I'll see you tomorrow then."   
_  
_ _'Goodnight, Jay. I'll see you tomorrow.'_

  
Jiwon ended the call and I put my phone away, smiling. That's exactly is why Jiwon is my best friend. He overreacts, a lot, but he'll always be there to help me.    
And he's right.    
I want to stay with Junhoe, but going to Jiwon's place is the reasonable thing.   
  
I sighed amused and hugged one of the pillows on his bed, waiting for him to come back.  I didn't hear any yelling, so I guess it was going okay…   
I felt really nervous about this thing, but I trust Junhoe. He didn't give me a reason not to.  
  


"Angel?" His door opened, "care to come?"   
  
"Did something happen?" I asked, sitting down on his bed.   
  
"No, no. My dad simply wants to clear a few things out."   
  
"Okay…" I said quietly and got up, walking to the living room while holding Junhoe's hand.  I wonder what his father could want from me. If he can't help it's completely fine.   
I just…   
I'll manage. I'll avoid Jimin and ask the principle not to let my stepfather in if he asks.   
  


"You poor thing." Junhoe's mother instantly hugged me, holding me close to herself. \ I wasn't expecting this.  
  She already hugged me once, but this hug felt different. Though it didn't sound like she's pitying me, but rather was really worried about me.   
Just like Junhoe.   
  
It's been a while since someone hugged me like this. After my mom's death, nobody cared for me in a parental way. 

  
"Jinhwan," Junhoe's father called my name. I looked at him when Junhoe's mother let go of me.   
  
"I understand from June that you are having problems with your stepfather." 

I nodded.   
  
"Now, he suggested here a solution, but I want to ask you, what would you like to do? You are at a legal age, he can't really control you anymore. But it won't stop him from trying to take you back home. You can either sue them or ask for a restraining order. But that's for you to decide. Not me or even my son can decide for you." 

  
To sue them?   
To be honest, with how much I suffered, as long as I don't have to see them again, I prefer not to go through the headache of suing them.

  
"Restraining order." I answered.   
  
"Very well. I'll contact my lawyer and let you know if we need anything."   
  
"Thank you so much, sir." I bowed, "really. I appreciate it. And I promise to pay you back as soon as I'll be able to."   
  
"No need. This is my way to thank you for making my son happy. Don't worry about that."    
I nodded and thanked him again before letting Junhoe drag me back to his room.

 

"I. Love you. So. Fucking. Much." I hugged Junhoe tightly. He laughed and hugged me back, pressing a kiss on top of my head.   
  
"I love you too, angel."    
I smiled, looking up at him, asking for a kiss.  I really love him.   
He's sweet, caring, not to say so handsome, he can be weird or annoying but I just love all his features. 

  
Junhoe smiled back at me and leaned for a kiss.    
I kissed him back, wrapping my arms around his neck to pull him closer.    
I kissed him over and over, not wanting to let go. His lips are so soft and sweet…

I didn't have too much time to spend with him. For three months I was hiding from him. And for a whole month, I had only a bit of time with him during breaks.   
Today is the first time I could spend time with him like I wanted to.   
  
I looked up at him, only now realizing the from sitting we were now laying down on the bed.  I smiled softly, reaching one of my hands to gently stroke his cheek.    
What did I do to deserve this amazing guy?   


I kissed him again, getting as close as possible to him. Junhoe placed his hands over my waist, holding me close to himself as I slowly rolled on top of him.    
Junhoe's touch is so much better, he was making my heart beat like crazy. As much as I hate remembering that evening, being with Jimin made me feel absolutely nothing. 

I just… Waited. I waited for all the mess in my mind to calm down. I waited for all the pain I was feeling to disappear and most importantly I wanted for him to finish as fast as possible. 

But Junhoe... 

Kissing him was addicting, just like his smell. I wanted more.   
Everything about him is addicting.   
  
  
"Wa-Wait… Wait " Junhoe made me stop. "Jay… You should get some rest and sleep…"   
  
"Already did…" I said softly, pulling him to another kiss.   
  
"Wa-" 

I didn't let him protest. 

Kissing him felt amazing. Being so close to him… Feeling his touch…   
He really made my heart beat like crazy. 

  
"Angel-"  
  
"Please…" I looked at him with pleading eyes.   
  
Junhoe stroked my cheek, giving me a somewhat concerned look. "Angel… No... "   
  
"Why not?" I insisted. "I… I can handle this. It's not my first time."  I wonder if Junhoe feels the same about this. I wonder if I'm the only one who feels his heart going insane from one small touch.    
Koo Junhoe was an amazing guy, honestly. 

I know I can trust him. He did so much for me...  I want to repay him. 

I want him.   
I wanted him for the past 4 months. Each time that Jimin touched me in the last months, I only thought of Junhoe. 

  
"Angel…" Junhoe sighed, "I just… I don't…"   
  
"You see? You don't even have an argument." I kissed him softly and sat on him, moving a hand over his chest. "You've done so much for me… You gave me hope… You made my suffering there a bit more bearable." 

  
My friends also helped me. A lot.  And I owe them everything.   
But with Junhoe it's different. We didn't meet or had a proper conversation for such a long time. And yet, he started liking me. He asked me out and promised he'd wait.   
I don't want to wait anymore.   


"Please…" I asked softly as I wrapped my arms around his neck. I want to feel safe, and Junhoe's touch makes me feel like this.   
Like nothing can't hurt me when I'm with him.  It's different from what I did with Jimin.   
With Jimin it was simply sex, nothing more. But with Junhoe… it's making love with the guy I love so much.   
  
"Are you sure?" Junhoe asked softly, placing his hands on my waist to hold it. "I really don't want you to regret that."   
  
I regret doing it with Jimin.

But Junhoe?

"I won't regret it."

  
Junhoe looked at me, as if he's trying to find any doubt in my voice or my eyes.  But I was positive about that. I've been through so much shit in my life. I spent the last six years of my life like a maid in my house.   
And then Junhoe came and actually took me out of there. He didn't let me protest and he didn't let me come back. I'm so thankful to him, and I love him so fucking much…   


I let out a soft gasp when he suddenly kissed me, holding tighter into my waist.  I closed my eyes, bringing myself closer to his body, moving one of my hands through his soft hair.    
I don't know how many times I dreamed of having Junhoe this close to me, touch me…   
I wanted to be with him for such a long time and only now, four months later, I finally have him.   
Without a stepfather to tell me to go back home.   
Without Jimin to tell me just how much of an air waste I am. 

Just Junhoe.   


I opened my eyes to look at him as we pulled apart. Junhoe looked back, gently brushing his thumb on my lower lip.   
I parted my lips, watching him lean for another kiss as his hands held my shirt, slowly pulling it up and over my head.  I looked at him, slowly moving my hands over his shoulders and down to his arms.    
It still was weird, believing I'm right here with Junhoe.   
He helped me do something I never thought I would have the courage to do before. 

  
I bit my lower lip, looking at him as he slowly moved his hands over my chest and waist before wrapping his arms around it and pulling me closer to himself.   
When I felt his lips against my neck I felt a slight energy shock. His lips feel soft and warm as he planted soft kisses across my neck.   
I hummed softly, arching my neck to his touch, wanting him to make me feel even better than this soft touch. 

I moved my hands down on his back, grabbing his shirt to pull it off as well. He let me, stopping his actions for me to take it off and throw it away before paying his attention back to my neck. I let out a gasp as he bit into my skin, just a bit beneath my collarbones, before sucking it.    
I moved my fingers through his hair as he nibbled on my skin, leaving light pink marks over my skin. 

  
It felt good. Junhoe's touch really felt good.   
I don't know how to explain it, but even the smallest action he did sent chills down my spine.   
I softly mumbled his name, feeling him moving lower to my chest. God, how much I hope that isn't a dream. I really don't want to wake up from this one. 

I looked up at him as he gently made me lean down on the bed, standing on top of me. His eyes were scanning me, and I must say, I find it cute that it seems he bit his lower lip without notice as he was checking me out.

  
I smiled softly, reaching a hand to stroke his cheek. Junhoe placed his hand on mine and pressed a kiss over it, looking straight at me before kissing me again.   
My first time was… Completely different. 

There were no sweet gestures or such an admiring look.   
There was only roughness in it. So it was weird in a way, to have Junhoe be so gentle with me. 

I watched as he lifted my right arm, pressure kisses all along the scars I had covering my skin. I wanted to take my hand back, not wanting him to see all those scars. But Junhoe didn't let me.   
He made sure to carefully move over them, one by one.   
"You won't be hurt again…" he mumbled. 

I looked at the scars decorating my skin before looking at Junhoe who continued his actions. He looked so sweet. 

  
I smiled softly, watching him as he let go of my arm and gently moved his fingers across my lower stomach, making me shiver.  I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him for a kiss.   
There was something about him that I couldn't explain. I didn't want to lose contact with his touch for even one second. 

It simply felt right.   
Being with Junhoe felt like the right thing. 

  
"I'm taking your pants off, okay Angel?" Junhoe mumbled against my lips, his hands rest on my waist.   
Is he really asking me? Why? Jimin didn't ask.   
He simply undressed me and threw all my clothes away. 

God, I felt so embarrassed. I'm with the guy who has been my boyfriend for four months, and all I can do is to compare my experience with him to a one time thing I had with the guy who harassed me for years rather than enjoy it.   
  
But I had nothing else to compare to.   
Jiwon didn't say a thing about him and Hanbin besides how much of a dork the other can be. But a sweet and caring dork. 

And Jimin…   
Jimin wanted me for a few years now. He couldn't care what would be the outcome as long as he will get what he wanted.  I don't know if Junhoe will even enjoy it.   
I covered my face in my hands. God, what am I doing?

"Hey, Angel…" Junhoe asked softly, brushing my hair. "What happened?"   
I did want to have Junhoe. But all my insecurities were flooding back at the worse timing.  And now I'm making Junhoe worry.   
I need to stop, take a deep breath and calm myself down.  Junhoe isn't Jimin. Junhoe actually loves and cares about me.   
He won't hurt me. It's going to be okay. 

  
"Nothing…" I removed my hands and took a deep breath before looking at him. "I'm fine, really… Just a bit nervous…"   
  
Junhoe smiled softly and gently stroked my cheek. "No need to, I'll stop whenever you tell me to, okay?" 

Stop…? He'll stop? Just if I'll ask him?   
I don't understand. 

But I decided to stop thinking about it and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him in for a kiss. Junhoe is definitely perfect.   


I felt him opening my pants, slowly pulling them off my thighs and throwing them away.   
The feeling of his hand moving over my skin sent shivers down my spine. I had an unexplainable want for him to touch me more, to do more than those soft gestures.   
Junhoe moved back to press kisses over my neck and chest, biting into my skin to cover it with light, red-ish marks. And those were marks I wanted to keep on me. I wanted people to know I have someone I belong to. 

Especially my dear stepbrother.   


"June… Stop…" I mumbled softly, "I changed my mind."   
I didn't feel his touch anymore and he took my face in his hands, kissing me softly.   
  
"I'm sorry, Angel…" He said, brushing his thumb over my cheek. "I told you it's-"  
  
"I'm joking." I smiled, kissing him back.  He really did stop. He wasn't mad at me and he didn't force me to continue.   
Junhoe stopped. And even apologized.   
  
"I'm sorry…" I said, biting my lower lip. "I just...had to make sure…"   
He looked at me, making sure I'm really okay with him to continue before he chuckled.  
  
"I'll be gentle, I promise."

What if I don't want him to be that gentle? I had no experience, but in the last 6 years of my life, nobody was ever gentle with me.   
And having Junhoe take his time, treat me so gently, making sure I'm fine with everything… It was weird. 

It did feel good, and it was sweet of him, but it just wasn't enough for me. 

"Don't."   
  
He looked at me confused. "What?"   
  
"Don't… Don't be gentle…"   
  
"Angel-"  
  
"Please… I can take it." I assured him.  I know I can trust him, Junhoe will never do something to hurt me.   
He was really sweet and caring and gentle. He always took good care of me at school, he spoiled me and has done so much for me.   
I know he's not always this gentle. I saw him punching Jimin today. But I can trust him not to take it too far with me. And I know he'll stop if I ask.   
  
  
"Please… ?" I asked softly, "I trust you…"  
  
He sighed, caressing my cheek. "Alright. But stop me as soon as it feels uncomfortable. Okay?" He said softly. I smiled and nodded. I'm sure I'll be able to handle it. 

Junhoe kissed me, a bit rougher this time. I wrapped my arms around his neck but he took them in his own and held them against the bed, licking and biting my lower lip.   
I let out a moan, kissing him deeper. I started to feel warmer as he continued abusing my lips. I think they became swollen at this point. 

I had to admit - him acting like that felt a lot better than the soft actions from before.   
  
I gasped as he bit a spot on my neck, starting to suck it as he added pressure with his tongue.    
"Fuck…" I moaned, arching my neck. I can't explain it, but it felt good. 

  
Junhoe continued marking my neck, biting a bit harsher in each and every time.  It almost seemed like he's testing my pain tolerance.   
But I didn't mind it. Each time he moved to mark a new spot felt better than the last one. Those marks are showing I only belong to him. I want to only be with him. 

I moaned his name as he moved to my chest, marking it as well. I tried to free my hands but Junhoe held them a bit tighter, not giving me a chance.   
I liked it better when he's acting like that. I don't want him to be soft or gentle with me now, I prefer him a bit more… Rough. 

  
He did hesitate, I could feel it in some of his actions. But when I didn't complain or stop him he became more sure in what he was doing. 

"You okay…?" 

"Yeah… Great. Don't stop…" I moaned softly as he continued abusing my skin, biting and sucking it to leave his marks all over me.   
I'll admit, it was a bit painful, but it's not something I can't deal with. After years of abuse and self-harm, my pain tolerance was quite high. 

"Fuck, June…" I breathed out, feeling his hands moving over my thighs as he kept marking my chest and stomach. I moved my now free hands through his hair, enjoying the feeling of his lips against my skin.   
  
I thought about everything I've been through to get to this point and finally have someone to care about me in a way my friends can't.   
Someone who accepted me although my complications, although my depression and although the mistakes I made.   
Someone who was patient and waited for me for three months until I finally got the courage to tell him who I was. I thought about giving up a lot earlier.   
There were times when I stood in the bathroom, staring at a bottle of pills and debating whether to drink it or not. 

I was so close to losing hope so many times… 

"You won't leave me… Right?" I asked softly, looking at Junhoe who stopped his actions to give me a concerned look.   
  
"Angel… Of course not…" He promised, reaching a hand to stroke my cheek. "How can I leave an adorable guy like you..?"   
  
"Shut up…" Once again I used my hands to cover my face. "I'm not adorable…"   
  
"You're my adorable Angel…" Junhoe made me move my hands away and kissed me softly.   
  
"I'm going to prepare you. Is that okay?" 

I looked at him, biting my lower lip. Prepare me?   
Jimin said something similar before he shoved his fingers up my ass.   
But it didn't last long since he became impatient and thrusted in almost immediately.   
  
So I shook my head. "No… Don't… Just use more lube and pull in…"   
  
"Angel, it might hurt-"  
  
"I'll be fine. I don't need preparation."   
  
"Jay…"  
  
"Just do. Okay?" I pulled him for a kiss, moving my hands over his chest and down to his pants to open them.   
He made me move my hands away and kissed me back, opening his pants and sliding them off.   
  
"Then wait… I really don't want to hurt you…" Junhoe said softly as he raised one of my legs, pressing soft kisses along my inner thigh as he gently bit into my skin, causing me to moan softly. I was already hard, and I wanted him. But he's taking his time for no good reason.

"Stop teasing…" I complained in frustration. Junhoe simply smiled against my skin and didn't stop until my thigh was covered with his red-ish marks. 

"Please… Tell me if it hurts…" He asked, sliding my boxers off. I paid only half attention, knowing I can deal with it. 

  
Junhoe leaned towards his nightstand to take a small bottle from there before taking his boxers off as well. He definitely was bigger than my dear brother. But it won't make me change my mind. 

Junhoe poured a generous amount of lube on his hand before stroking himself to cover his member with it. I took a deep breath, positioning myself more comfortably on the bed. 

"Are you sure…?"  
  
I gave him a nod. "Don't worry." 

Junhoe nodded and raised my legs a bit, leaning forward to kiss me softly as he pulled in. 

 

A wave of pain instantly went up my spine as I felt him stretching me. I moaned out in pain, holding tightly into him.   
"Angel, I told you I need to prepare you." Junhoe said in worry, stopping his actions. He started pulling out but I stopped him, shaking my head. 

"I can do it… Don't stop…"  
  
"Jay…-"  
  
"Stop… I'm fine…" I breathed deeply, trying to calm myself. "Really."   
Junhoe sighed and kissed me again, pulling in slower this time until all his member inside of me.   
That's going to hurt tomorrow. Maybe I'll ask not to go to school and simply ask Junhoe to drive me to Jiwon. 

"You're okay…?"   
  
I hummed. "Just give me a minute…"   
I tried calming myself to adjust to Junhoe size. He pressed kisses over my face and neck, making me smile. Junhoe is literally so sweet and caring.   
Really.   
  
What did I do to deserve him? 

"Okay… Move.." I said softly, kissing him.   
Junhoe kissed me back, stroking my cheek before making me wrap my legs around his waist and taking my hands in his and holding them against the bed. 

He started thrusting, slowly pulling out before pulling back in. I moaned in slight pain, waiting for the stinging pain to pass.   
I'm definitely not going to regret it. 

Junhoe was something I never thought I'd deserve. He cared for me, he waited for me, he was worried about me and he did whatever he could to protect me.   
Junhoe was honestly amazing. I know I love him. Even if four months are not enough to know that.   
I want to be with him. I want to have everything we had online, in real life.   
I want to go on dates with him. I want to lie in bed and cuddle with him. 

I want him.   
  
And for the first time in my life, I actually think I deserve him. 

"Junhoe…" I moaned when he thrusted faster. The painful feeling was gone, and now it felt a bit uncomfortable. But I could bear with it. I knew Junhoe would make me feel good. 

I arched my neck, letting him press soft kisses against my skin as he continued thrusting, mumbling softly 'it'll feel better' and 'you're doing so good'.   
I won't lie, he was making my heart beat faster. And only he had this kind of effect on me. 

I held his hands tightly, moaning out in pleasure when he finally hit my sweet spot, making me forget all about the pain I was feeling earlier.   
Junhoe thrusted faster, hitting that spot over and over with each thrust. I think I could hear the springs of the mattress squeaking beneath me and the bed gently hitting the wall as Junhoe moved, trying to reach deeper inside of me.   
I felt bad for making so much noise while his parents were at home, and I did try to keep it down. But it was difficult. 

I don't think I ever felt pleasure like this. For the last few years, I felt only pain and sadness. It's the first time someone was taking care of me like this.   
I couldn't hold it back. 

"Good… Feels good…" I breathed out, trying to keep my focus on the dark haired guy above me. I think I was feeling close, but I held it because I wanted Junhoe to feel close as well. I didn't want to be the only one feeling good. 

Junhoe kissed me again, licking and biting my lower lip as I softly called his name, not thinking I'll be able to hold it for much longer. He quickened his pace, moving to press kisses over my jawline.  
The sound of his groans in my ear made me shiver. Junhoe's voice was always something I liked.   
Maybe a bit too much. 

"Close… I'm -ah… I'm close…"   
  
"Me too…" He mumbled into my ear. All it took was a few more thrusts before I came over my chest and stomach, covering Junhoe's stomach as well. 

In that second Junhoe came inside of me as well, panting against my ear. I tried to catch my breath, letting out a soft whine as he pulled out and kissed me deeply.   
I kissed him back, letting my legs fall back on the bed.   
It felt amazing. And I don't think anyone but Junhoe could make me feel this way. 

"God… I love you…" I mumbled against his lips, kissing him again. Junhoe hummed, brushing my hair away from my forehead.  
  
"Love you too…" he said softly and kissed me again.   
Honestly, I didn't want this moment to end. It felt perfect.   
Too perfect. 

  
I wish someone would have told me years ago that I'll find someone in the end. That I'll have someone who'll care for me and who'll love me.   
I really needed that.   
  
"I love you…" I said again, looking at him. "So much. I love you so much…" 

He smiled and pressed a kiss on my forehead before sitting down. "C'mon, we need a shower."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been...  
> Such a shitty day.  
> The departure video is really depressing and it seems like the company is doing everything to make us and our boys miserable.  
> Everyone - keep holding on and wishing the best for our dorks.  
> All the seven of them.


	14. Chapter 14

"I see you had a fun night." Jiwon said amused when I met him the next day.   
I was sore. Really sore.   
The warm shower from last night helped, but I still asked Junhoe to help me stand up and dress up.   
But I'm not complaining.   
Last night was amazing. And I wish I could relive that moment again. 

"Shut up." I pouted, giving him a look. 

Jiwon laughed and messed my hair. "The first night of Jay out of the house. How was it?"

"Amazing." I smiled. "He's amazing."

"Yeah, Hanbin told me he punched Jimin yesterday. I wanted to do it for a long time." 

"Me too." I sighed. "I was so shocked when he actually did it." 

"That's a part of Junhoe's personality. He can be sweet like he's with you, but he's also quite short tempered." Jiwon sighed amused. "From what I understood, Jimin won't be coming to school for a while." 

I frowned. "Why?" 

"No good reason. Using being punched as an excuse." 

That's no good.  
It means Jimin is home which means I can't go and pack my things. I really want to get my things out of there as soon as possible without letting my stepfather or Jimin a chance to mess with them. 

"You look tense." Jiwon noted. 

"Yeah, I planned to take my things today.." I bit my lower lip. "Fucking Jimin…"

"Don't worry, I'll go with you." Jiwon promised. 

"But-"

"Stop arguing already. I might not be Junhoe but I will punch this shit. He'll probably sleep anyways."   
I sighed deeply. I know I can't argue with him.

"Fine." 

  
The house was really… Quiet.   
It usually was, but I could sometimes hear my stepfather talking really loudly or Jimin talking with his friends. 

I'm also used to playing music while I do chores. So it felt quite weird coming to an empty place.   
Almost empty.   
"Let's go to your room." Jiwon lead me. 

I think it's the first time I had any of my friends inside this place.   
I nodded and we walked upstairs to my room.   
"Wow… it looks so… simple." Jiwon said as he looked around. I felt a bit uncomfortable. 

My room really was simple because Jimin would take my stuff from time to time or break them by 'accident'.   
I had only what I needed.   
"Yeah…" I said and looked for one of the big bags I had to fit the stuff I wanted to take.  
I started to pack my clothes, really hoping Jimin isn’t home. 

After what Junhoe did, he's definitely going to be angry. Usually, his father is the one getting mad in his place because he's stronger, but Jimin can have a scary side too.   
I've seen it once, and I don't want to know what he'll do to me if he'll find me here. 

"Hey, Jay, calm down…" I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked at Jiwon who was giving me a worried look. 

"I'm fine…"

"You're shaking. Let me." Jiwon made me sit down and packed my bag instead. 

"He won't do anything. There's nothing to worry about." 

"What if he's home? God… I'm so nervous Jiwon…" 

"I'm here, remember?" Jiwon sighed. "Now don't make me slap you to knock some sense into you. What else do you need?"   
I looked around the room, getting another bag for my laptop and what was left from my clothes.   
Chargers, notebooks, some books I had and things like that I made to take as well.   
I really didn't have much so that was about it. 

"Nothing else?" Jiwon asked to make sure. 

"I think so…" I said quietly as I looked around the room.  
If I did forget something, it's simply not important enough for me to remember.   
Jiwon nodded and carried one of the bags while I carried the other.   
This honestly was too easy. 

I literally froze in my place as we walked out of my room, seeing the door of Jimin's door open.  
At first, I thought I was a goner.  
But then I realized it wasn't Jimin and to say I wasn't surprised to see the guy who walked out of his room would be an understatement.   
Since the day I let Jimin sleep with me, he finally left me alone because he found himself someone who interests him more.   
Min Yoongi, the school's 'bad boy'.   
Kind of.   
I swear Jimin's group of friends is weirder than mine. 

I looked at Jiwon who looked back at me confused before looking back at Yoongi.   
I know he wouldn't care since other people's shit doesn't interest him, but I was worried in a way.

"Well, what do we have here." He said with a smirk as he looked at the both of us.   
Fuck me. I can't even leave in peace. 

"Please just… Shut up…" I sighed, thinking about going back to my room, unpack and face the lifetime of grounding I'm going to get. 

"Not so brave without your rich boyfriend, huh?" 

"He doesn't need his rich boyfriend." Jiwon said annoyed, taking a step forward. "So let us pass or I'll push you down the stairs."

Yoongi started to laugh.  
I don't understand what is so amusing about it. 

"Yoongi… what is it…?"  


I felt like I can't breath as I heard the too familiar sleepy voice from inside the room.   
This was a bad idea.   
I knew this was a bad idea.   
What fantasy did I get lost in, believing I can leave the house without dealing with Jimin or what happened yesterday?   
I took a step backwards. I really should go to my room.   
"Your little plaything is trying to run." Yoongi noted. "Why won't you say 'hey'?"

I couldn't help it, I hid myself behind Jiwon. Holding tightly into his shirt.   
Why am I such a fucking coward?   
Why can't I face Jimin…? Junhoe punched him for fuck's sake!   
"Run…? The hell you're talking ab-oh… Jinani's friend…" Jimin noted when he saw Jiwon, rubbing his eyes to wake up. 

"Back off or I swear I'll push the both of you down the stairs." 

I could see Jimin looking at Jiwon before noticing me. "Hiding again? Is that the only thing you're good at?" He smirked. "C'mon, Jinani, are you that stupid?"

"He's leaving. Now let us pass." Jiwon said annoyed.  
I'm surprised he can be so calm when I was shaking. 

"Why should I let him leave?" Jimin asked. "I got a black eye because of this shit. And dad is furious with you." 

He looked at Jiwon. "You, on the other hand, I can blame for breaking in here. You really think you can leave peacefully with that shaky Jello you are trying to hide?"  
I held tighter into Jiwon's shirt. I tried to stop shaking but I couldn't. 

"He's leaving. Now fuck off." Jiwon said pissed and grabbed my hand, quickly leading me downstairs.   
I gasped when he did it, trying to protest. But Jiwon didn't let me.   
I felt too weak at this point that I let him drag me. 

We made our way out of the house and as far as possible from it before slowing down and stopping.   
I held tightly into Jiwon's hand and he seemed to do the same, carefully putting my bag down before hugging me.   
"Shh… He can't hurt you…" Jiwon said calmly, patting my hair. "You're okay… You're out of there…"   
I tried my best to stop shaking.

"How about we go back to my car now, we'll come to my house and I'll call Junhoe to come?" He suggested as he gently brushed my hair.   
I nodded, taking deep breaths.   
I'm so pathetic, losing it like this just because of Jimin… 

"I'm sorry…"

"Don't be. You have nothing to apologize for. Now let's get back to my car, okay?"   
I nodded again and let Jiwon lead me back to his car, holding his hand tightly. 

  
  
"Hey Junhoe." I looked at Jiwon a he called Junhoe while driving.

_ 'Hey, is everything okay?' _ Junhoe's voice came out of the speaker.

"Yeah, Jay is here with me. I'm taking him to my house." 

_'Angel, did you take all your things?'_ he asked. I answered a weak 'yes'.   
Hearing Junhoe's voice managed to calm me a bit, but I still felt bad.   
I felt bad for freezing and making Jiwon argue Jimin alone.   
I felt pathetic I couldn't face him properly.   
I don't want others to protect me. I could handle Jimin's stupid face and my stepfather alone just well until now.   
So why…? 

"Can you come over to my house? Ask Hanbin for the address since I'm driving." Jiwon asked of him. 

_'Yeah, sure. I'll head out in a few minutes.'_ Junhoe agreed and ended the call without even asking why or what for.   
I really don't understand him sometimes.   
I sighed deeply, leaning my head on Jiwon's head.

"I'm pathetic…" I said quietly. 

"Kim Jinhwan. I taught you better than speak nonsense." Jiwon scolded me. "Stop that. You're not pathetic. Jimin is an asshole." 

"You shitting me? I just stood there like a lost puppy!" 

"Jay, you can't be serious." Jiwon frowned. "This guy has been harassing you for years. He and his father abused you. He fucking  **raped** you! You have all the right to be scared." 

I sighed deeply, trying to hold back the tears I had.  
At the back of my mind, I knew he's right.   
I've become used to be their obedient slave. 

I did everything they asked, I didn't have any social life, Jimin made sure everyone at school would stay away from me..   
Yesterday was the first time in my life I didn't return home. Or answered my father.   
And I really was scared.   
"We'll be at my home soon." Jiwon promised.  
I can't believe I'm only now going to see my best friend's house for the first time.   
I'm a bit excited, in a way.   
So I tried to focus on this instead of what happened. 

  
When we got to Jiwon's house, Junhoe was already there, leaning against his car in the parking lot.  
"He's fast." Jiwon said a bit surprised. 

"Does he live far?" I asked, not really understanding Jiwon's surprise. 

"Yeah, kind of. Let's go. Leave the bags here for now." He stopped the car and got out, so I followed him.   
Once Junhoe notice me he quickly walked to us, pulling me to a hug.   
I didn't expect that, but I'm not complaining.   
That's exactly what I needed right now. 

So I hugged him back, holding tightly into him as I buried my face in his chest.   
How could I be away from him for so long?   
I missed him. Even if I didn't see him only for a few hours.   
His scent, touch and warmth could calm me in seconds.   
"What happened…?" He asked me quietly, brushing my hair. 

"I missed you…" I mumbled, holding tighter into him.   
I don't want to be away from him. I just got him. It took me a long time to confess to him, and then we couldn't even be a normal couple.   
Last night was amazing.   
And I really am sad it ended. 

Junhoe pressed a kiss on my head. "Angel, will you tell me what happened?" 

I shook my head. "Nothing…"   
I don't want him to worry for nothing. I don't want to upset him for nothing.   
I'm just happy he's here. 

"Hm…" he hummed, lifting me. "Doesn't sound like nothing."   
I instantly wrapped my arms around his neck, shaking my head again. 

"I'm fine…" 

"Can you two not be so awfully cringey on my parking spot?" Jiwon rolled his eyes.   
I looked at him and pouted. But he ignored me.   
"Get inside please." 

"Where are your bags, angel?" Junhoe asked me. 

"Jiwon's car…" I said, waiting for him to put me down.   
He nodded and put me down, walking to the car.

"Aish, Junhoe. Don't do that." I complained as he lifted my bags.

"Let me help." He insisted. 

"You already did so much…"   
His father is taking care of my restraining order request. He let me stay the night yesterday. He's been waiting for me for four months.   
Junhoe did so much for me…   
Why does he keep offering me help?

"Stop talking nonsense and give me those." I took the bags from him. 

"Jay…" He sighed, but I already made my way inside the house after Jiwon. 

  
"Mom! Jinhwan is here!" He called in the house, making me to sigh.  
This idiot, I swear.   
I carefully placed my bags in the living room, instantly feeling arms being wrapped around my waist. 

"Angel… What's going on…?" 

"It's not-" 

"Jinhwan, it's good to finally see you in person." A woman's voice cut me off.   
I turned to look at Jiwon's mother and smiled. 

"Hello, mrs. Kim. I'm really sorry for burdening your family like this. But Jiwon wasn't giving me any options."

"Don't be ridiculous! I told Jiwon so many times I should call the police with that father of yours." 

"That is being taken care of." Junhoe noted, letting go of me but still standing close as he brushed my hair. 

"I promise you it's nothing…" I said politely, doing my best to pull my sleeves as low as possible. "I appreciate your worry."   
Jiwon gave me a worried look. 

"Go and eat something, boys. Especially you, Jinhwan." Mrs. Kim sent us to the kitchen.   
I honestly wasn't even hungry, but I don't want to be rude. 

  
"Why your moms trying to feed me?" I complained as Jiwon lead us to the kitchen. 

"Because you're too skinny." Jiwon noted. "You don't eat properly." 

"I'm perfectly fine." I argued. "Stop that. I'm not hungry, really." 

"Jay, when was the last time you ate properly?"

"Yesterday." 

"You're eating right now then." Jiwon finished preparing me a plate. 

"June, I don't wanna." I pouted. 

"Angel, you need to eat." He scolded me.  
Why they treat me like I'm a little kid?  
I'm perfectly fine. I didn't have any symptoms of dehydration or starvation. I wasn't **that** skinny, and I've been living mostly on school lunch for a few years now. 

"No. A, I'll throw up. B, I'll get fat. You want a fat boyfriend?" I crossed my arms. 

"Stop it. You won't be fat. Now eat." Junhoe insisted.   
I pouted at him and looked at the plate in front of me. So annoying and pointless.   
But I can't really complain. Jiwon was giving me a place to stay at like Junhoe's parents did.   
So I sat down and took a bite, and… it felt just like yesterday. I didn't realize how hungry I was. 

I tried to eat slower, but it was a bit difficult with how hungry I was.   
Jiwon and Junhoe ate as well. But less than me.   
God… my body is really messed up, huh? 

I sighed. I'll be fine.   
I guess…   
I'm out of the house. That's already something.   
Things will work out. 

  
"I'll show you your new room." Jiwon said cheerfully when we finished eating. 

"Let me take my bags-"

"I'll do it." Junhoe insisted and the three of us got up.   
God, I really was nervous.   
I don't care how it'd look. Small or whatever. It's better than staying at that hell. 

"Okay, close your eyes." Jiwon said with a smile, leading me in his house.

"Jiwon, it's just a room…" I tried to protest but there was no use.   
Stupid Jiwon. 

I opened my eyes as he told me, looking around me. This room was surely bigger than my old room.   
It was decorated nicely. Something similar to what I like.   
Junhoe put the bags by the empty desk, looking at me.   
I felt kind of… A wave of relief. 

I think I just now starting to realize I'm free.  
I'm actually free.  
I can meet with my friends after school, I don't need to do Jimin's homework, I don't need to clean the entire house or I'll be beaten and I can date my boyfriend peacefully.   
I really…   
I'm out of there. 

I hugged Jiwon tightly, feeling tears in my eyes.   
"I… I don't think I will ever be able to repay you…"

"Because you don't need to, idiot. Now, get used to your new room and try not to be too loud." He said and looked at Junhoe.   
Junhoe looked back, raising an eyebrow as if he didn't understand what Jiwon meant. 

"Watch over him." Jiwon warned before walking out.   
Junhoe took my hand in his, leading me to the bed before sitting on it and making me sit on his lap. 

"You seem happier…" He noted, stroking my cheek. "I'm glad…"   
I smiled softly, leaning to his touch.

"It is all thanks to you… you actually saved me." 

"Angel, I did nothing but care for you." He looked at me. "If already I should thank you. Or my poor Japanese." He smiled, kissing me.   
I chuckled, kissing him softly.  
He truly is amazing.   
When we first talked, he felt like a burden. Like another chore I must do.   
And I already had so much…   
But then he made the first move, wanting to be friends. And then insisted on being my boyfriend…   
Junhoe really did so much for me. 

"I love you.." I said softly, letting myself to feel safe between his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A / N:** The story is finally done! :D  
> Thank you all for reading and liking this story and I hope you liked the ending~ <3


End file.
